For the most part, my LookingForLissa life and Actual Lissa Life are fairly separate.
Oh sure, when we meet up for bloggershoots or bloggerdinners, I see people in real life. I don’t hide my ID. A bunch of the folks on my sidebar know the true name of Lissaville. Shoothouse Barbie‘s known me forever (or since high school, which is the same thing). And, of course, Mike both shares my Actual Lissa Life and does occasional guest posts for me. (He’s really looking forward to this summer’s bloggershoot, BTW. As are we all!) And when I occasionally meet up with someone who reads my blog and recognizes me at the range, it’s weird and flattering at the same time.
What’s weird to me is when an old acquaintance from my Actual Lissa Life stumbles on my blog.
I don’t deny that my views on politics and economics and life in general have changed a lot in the last ten years. (Two of my most popular posts deal with this very subject.) I try not to take things TOO seriously; after all, I was 1000% convinced back then that I Was Right. I’m pretty sure that my current views have more grounding in reality, statistics and How Things Actually Work, Not The Way I Would Like Them To Work than they were back in college, but hell — I was wrong before when I was SURE I was right. For all I know, I’m still wrong, and all my views are crazy as hell.
But there’s no denying that I feel a sense of . . . unease . . . almost shame . . . at the idea of someone from Ye Olde Liberal Arts College coming here and being shocked at the change. I imagine that, to them, it would be as if they met me in the street and suddenly I had shaved my head and put some bolts in my ears and pierced my lip and perhaps gotten a really stupid facial tattoo. (Of course, in such a situation, my real friends would love me anyway!)
Whereas in my perception, it’s more like the opposite — like realizing that my hair looks better long, that having my lip pierced makes no sense, and recognizing that a stupid facial tattoo leads people to judge me in ways I don’t like.
Part of the appeal of having a blog is the freedom of your readers to go elsewhere. If they think you’re batsh*t-crazy and living in bizarro land, they feel free to go read something else. I don’t know if that applies to people from Actual Lissa Life, and that makes me a little uncomfortable.
Also . . . the vast majority of my readership found me online, one way or another. I write for them, and for me. And I forget sometimes that there is a handful of people who know me from Actual Lissa Life.
Is that bad? I don’t know. Potentially, I guess. When I wrote Meditations on Self Defense, I was trying to explain in a logical manner why someone would choose to own a gun. In certain parts of the country, folks would think you’re nuts for having to explain something everyone takes for granted. That’s not the case where I live. I was trying to explain in a logical manner why gun ownership makes sense to me.
But I have friends who don’t own guns. Was this post aimed at them? Was I trying to call them stupid for NOT owning guns?
Do I need to add a disclaimer to all my posts — “This post is not aimed at anyone in particular that I know in real life, so please don’t take it that way”?
It’s really a tempest in a teapot, no doubt . . . I plan to keep trying to write in a way that entertains me, that hopefully entertains y’all, and that helps me make sense of my own thoughts.
I just wish it didn’t spill over into my real life occasionally. That it didn’t make folks uncomfortable, shocked, disappointed or simply weirded-out.