Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Posts Tagged ‘Verily it is a blog’

Does this count as a karmic apology?

Posted by Lissa on July 30, 2009

If so, I suppose I accept, but I still hate you buggers and I always will.

I’m amused to find that my post on hell-bugs has become one of the top results for a Google image search of the term “house centipede.”

Seriously, take a look at my top posts from the last quarter:

2009-05-01 to Today

Title Views
The hell with Robin Hood, bring me the H 685 More stats
Three-picture Thursday: 3/26/09 579 More stats
And they wonder why we dislike the UN 534 More stats
10 good things about a Barack Obama pres 208 More stats
A treatise on female toilet etiquette 179 More stats
How wierd! 137 More stats
President Obama bows to the Saudi King – 120 More stats

So of all the things for which this blog could be randomly pinged, it’s not the brilliant (snort) political commentary.  It’s not the breathless exposé on women’s restrooms.  It’s not the delicious recipes or even the shameless cat pr0n.

Nope, it’s the gut-twisting shivering squeamish post on The Most Evil Creature Known To This Humble Blogger.  (I won’t even click on that post if I can help it.  That’s how much I loathe and fear these mini-monsters.)

So like I said — I’ll take the 600-plus hits, and welcome . . . but don’t think I like you any better, hell-bugs.  As far as I’m concerned your proper and ONLY place will be smeared along the bottom of a shoe.  Preferably by Mike, while I hide in the corner and cry.

Do y’all have any funny posts like that?  Random hit generators that make you shake your head?

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Happy Blogiversary to me!

Posted by Lissa on June 7, 2009

One year since the first test-entry, folks.

In the process I’ve made friends, chronicled my vacations, blown off steam, tried to make sense, failed to make sense, highlighted gross fashion errors, documented my wide-eyed entry to the World of the Second Amendment, picked apart politics, and shamelessly cat-blogged.  I even shared my wedding psychosis with y’all!

I’ll tell you a secret.

I actually don’t like to write.

No, really.  I prefer to read.

But I love having an account of what happened in my life and my teeny-tiny little view of the world.  I don’t like to write but I love having written.  Isn’t that funny?  (I have exactly the same view towards the gym, of course.  I don’t like to go but I love having gone.)

The point is — I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for you, my readers, who stop by.  I post for you, and in doing so, I post for myself.   If I didn’t care that others were reading this, I’d just keep a journal. 

401 posts, 1200 comments, and 44,219 hits of encouragement.  Thank you all so much!!!!!!

UPDATE: BorePatch linked.  Thanks!

And to all the commenters — thank you very much!

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Lessons learned the hard way

Posted by Lissa on April 1, 2009

Naturally, as soon as I had hit “Publish” on the post yesterday I felt guilty.

What if some of my readers have serious math problems? Will they think I’m calling them dumb? Maybe I should have titled it “Mad Math Skillz” instead. But it WAS kinda dumb. Well, really dumb.  But is that offensive? Is “dumb” too harsh a word?

Believe it or not, in person I try to be very courteous and careful about not offending anyone. (I try; I’m not saying I always succeed, mind you.) It’s a refreshing change to be more direct, with less prevarication, on this blog. However, the Interwebz live FOREVER; it worries me sometimes that an off-the-cuff remark could be taken as offensive, or mean-spirited, or cruel.

And then I think — the hell with it. I write this blog for fun. If someone is offended by a “So dumb it HURTS” post title, well, I can’t imagine they would possibly be interested in reading anything else I write. I hope they would shrug it off, decide my blog is OBVIOUSLY not worth reading, and go find another blog that is vastly superior to mine. (There are lots.)

So, I’m not going to fret about it. But on the off chance that I do have a reader or two who thought that was mean-spirited, yet still plans to visit from time-to-time — well, consider this my humble pie.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way: Making Spaghetti

I have mentioned a few times that there are people in this world who are amazingly logical, practical, and commonsensical (my sister is the Master). I have mentioned at least that often that I am not one of those people. This occasionally gets me into trouble.

Such as the fine Saturday afternoon, some nine years ago, when I decided to make spaghetti.

Now, I *had* made spaghetti quite often, thank-you-very-much. I didn’t cook for the family or anything growing up — my mom is a FANTASTIC cook — but I did know my way around a kitchen. I knew to boil the water, add a bit of oil before adding the noodles, and stir every once in a while as it boiled.

What I did not know was that the Pyrex warning — well, they really MEANT it.

You know the Pyrex warning, don’t you? The one that comes with every Pyrex container sold anywhere, ever?

“DO NOT Use On or Under a Flame or Other Direct Heat Source, including on a stovetop, under a broiler, on a grill or in a toaster oven.”

Ummmmmmm yeah.

Well, it’s not like I had lots of pots and pans lying about in my tiny dorm room. And I did NOT want to use the communal cookware in the dorm kitchen — some of those pots had clearly been used by Eve when she first set up house with Adam.  And just as clearly had not been cleaned since.

All I can say is, God (or Buddha or Shiva or The Great Pumpkin) really DOES look out for fools, drunks and small children.  (You could just substitute “college students” for “fools,” “drunks” or both, BTW.)  

I say this because I was across the room, reading at the table, when I learned why Pyrex includes that warning on their glassware.


If you case you were wondering . . . cleaning up a two-quart Pyrex bowl (busted into tiny coin-size shards), mixed with a pound of spaghetti and two quarts of boiling water, with a four-foot spray-radius — why, yes, it IS a rather unpleasant experience, thank you for asking.

(This post is dedicated to my old friend who had a spaghetti incident recently. You know who you are.)

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Northeast Blogger and AD Dinner 3-22-09

Posted by Lissa on March 22, 2009

Steak.  Bloggers.  And lots and lots of knives.  What’s not to like??

I’ll try and update this post later, with lots of official links and an updated blogroll for folks I’ve met (Yay!!), but for now, I’m simply dumping off my Neo (thanks Marko!).  A big whopping thank you to Jay (I’ll update with a link once he posts his review of our lil’ shin-dig) — you ROCK, Mr. G.  We had a very excellent time and I TOTALLY look forward to the spring bloggershoot!

Quotes ‘n’ Notes from the evening . . .

If there’s one quote to walk away with tonight, I’m sure it would be Ambulance Driver’s: “Naw, naw, I’m not a redneck, I’m a good ol’ boy.  Y’see, both grow up having relationships with the livestock, but rednecks get emotionally involved.”

– Apparently I need to see Amazon Women on the Moon.  Or is that just for SciFi junkies?  Weer’d Beard

– Lissa:  “I don’t know about eating bunnies.  Bunnies are cute.” 
Ted: “Well, so are deer, you know.”
Lissa:  “Yes, but bunnies have never threatened my car. Every deer on the plate is one less deer in my headlights.”

-My new friend Steve was kicked out of Boy Scouts AND Hebrew School.  I’m not sure exactly what he did to deserve that, but he did mention smoking in the girls bathroom.  He swears it was NOT to pick up chicks — “They were the only other people who smoked!!”

– Ted: “I’m definitely just an amateur.”
Lissa: “If you’re just a gun amateur, what does that make me?”
Ted: “What do you think?”
Lissa: “Um, they called me a baby gun chick.”
Ted:  “Well, you’ll get a LOT more hits off “baby gun chick” than you will off “amateur” !”

– According to Ross, there are only three changes to MA gun laws that are really imperative:
1. Change licensing to “shall issue”
2. Scrap the EOPS list (?)
3. Beat the hell out of the AG until she stops pretending that gun safety laws protect children, or are really meant to.

– Ted, on living in England for a year:  “Yeah, you never got used to it.  When the movers came to pack us up, to go back home, they were these big burley cockney guys, and I’m like, “Would you like a spot of tea?” (raises his voice an octave) “Oo, lovely!” ”

– It was voiced that we might need to talk to the Hilltop management ’cause the Winchesters on the wall don’t have trigger locks.  Naturally, Jay had all the answers — it seems that antiques do have a loophole. Maybe just so that Minutemen could do re-enactments? Massachusetts:  We only want to regulate your guns if there’s a possibility they might be useful.  Yeah, it doesn’t make sense.  Deal with it.

-Ross:  “Yeah, I missed the day when we did Duck and Cover.
Lissa (squealing and clapping hands): “Oo! Oo!  I saw that in American History class!!”

– Jay G: “One . . . two . . . five!”
Lissa: “Three, sir!”

– (After some explanation about goats, a large boot and bodies of water) – Weer’d Beard: “Remember, Gentlemen: “BAAA” means “NO!!!”

Breda – you really must meet Ted some day and ask him about #2 son going to the ER for an injury obtained in a library.  And I must be there to take notes.  It’s just how it has to be.

– Ted: “You need to start a group, because really, Mike has to post so he can write, ‘Hey all, I’ve been looking for Lissa. Has anyone seen her?’ ”

– (I don’t even know to what this referred) – Jay G: “Help me, Tamara wan Kenobe, you’re my only hope!!”

– (On the drive home) – Lissa: “I was a little surpried you wanted to come, since you didn’t know any of the people or AD or stuff.”
Mike: “Well, it’s people you’re friends with.”
Lissa: “Cyber friends.” Pause. “Oh dude that sounds TERRIBLE.”

 It was lovely to see my old Bloggershoot friends again, and lovely to meet new ones.  More to come when I’m less sleepy.

Thank you Jay!  Cheers, AD!

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Tagged! For books!

Posted by Lissa on November 18, 2008

Why thanks Jay!  Of course I’ll play!


First, as always, the rules:

Pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences. The CLOSEST BOOK, NOT YOUR FAVORITE, OR MOST INTELLECTUAL!

Well, see, that’s a little difficult, because I use a Kindle.  I don’t get pages.  Luckily, Amazon.com includes page totals for their books.

Hmmm . . . let’s see.  272 pages translates to 3115 locations, how?  Okay, divide 3115 by 272 . . . no wait, that doesn’t look right . . . how many locations a page?  Oh DAMMIT!  Grrrr.  Okay, x over 3115 equals 56 over 272.  3115 X 56 = 174, 440.  174, 440 divided by 272  . . .641.32.  Right-o, Location 641.

And the fifth sentence at Location 641 is . . .

Lack of press freedom in Korea is one of the big student gripes.  But the students don’t like actual reporters any better than the government does, at least not American reporters.  The radicals — in counterfeit New Balance shoes, Levi’s knockoffs and unlicensed Madonna T-shirts — are much given to denouncing American dominance of Korean culture.  It took a lot of arguing to get past these ding-dongs.  One pair, a dog-faced, grousing fat girl in glasses and a weedy, mouthy, fever-eyed boy, were almost as obnoxious as my girlfriend and I were twenty years ago at the march on the Pentagon.  However, they had some oddly Korean priorities.  “Don’t you step on bushes!” shouted the fat girl as I made my way into the building that they were tearing to shreds.

Okay, so that was more than the next two sentences.  But when on reads PJ O’Rourke, one MUST finish the paragraph.  It’s a law.

Who to tag, who to tag . . .

1)  Breda.  She’s a librarian, so we should have a LARGE selection of random goodness!

2) IAMB.  Obviously better-read than I am, so let’s see what pops out!

3) Shoothouse Barbie.  Gun manual?  Chem textbook?  Her thesis (god forbid)?  Or a book about dogs farting?  Enlighten us!

4) TOTWTYTR.  I bet it’s something wonderful!

5) Bookworm.  ‘Cause, well, it just seems appropriate 🙂

(P.S.  Yes, I really do need to scribble out that x-over-y equals a-over-b equation.  I never claimed that math was a high point.  Although I still have the quadratic formula memorized — go figure.)

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Temporary hiatus

Posted by Lissa on November 3, 2008

I received some very passionate criticism — indeed, a tongue-lashing — over the weekend regarding the content of this blog.  (No, not from Mike, don’t worry.)

I’m therefore taking today off lest I write something I will later regret.

Carry on.

UPDATE 11/04/08: That was a very wise decision.  At the time, I was fairly evenly divided between intense urges to apologize/self-justify and to indulge in deranged ranting.  Now, I’m just back to blogging, albeit with a new perspective.  Thanks everyone for the show of support!

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Wow! Like randomly finding a $20 in your pocket

Posted by Lissa on October 31, 2008

Well, this came out of the blue!!!!  Thanks so much, TOTWTYTR, I’m flattered and honored and gobsmacked and generally SQUEEEE!!  🙂

Because I am a Good Girl (except for my penchant for torturing my cat with embarrassing articles of apparel), I shall hereby confer this Great Honor on the following five:

1) Breda.  I like her.  She’s purty and she has what might be my dream job, surrounded by books all day.  (Okay, so, actually my dream job would be a book critic — have people send me books for free and GET PAID TO READ THEM — but a librarian’s pretty close!)  Doh!  She already got tagged!  Well, then, Crystal.  Her Crazy Chronicles are some of the most soul-wrenching, gut-stabbingly honest, heartbreaking, courageous posts I’ve ever read.

2) Bruce.  He has escaped the Volksrepublik of Massachusetts but still keeps me current on the news around here.  Oh, and he sings funny songs with a perfect Maine accent.  Bruce, I want a kilt picture!

3) Sarah.  She argues unashamedly for her side, makes me proud to be an American and a woman and makes me want to learn how to knit.  Someday . . .

4) Bookworm.  One of the most intelligent, logical, thoughtful commentators on the Intrawebz.  She takes the pain out of politics!

5) Last but not least, Shoothouse Barbie.  My old high school friend from Liberalville, she makes bullets into barettes and took me shooting FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME (yay!). 

That was HARD!  Everyone on my blogroll is a good read, and I hope you visit them often.  Thanks TOTWTYTR!!!!!

Of course, as with every Bloggy Award, there are A Few Rules. They are, forthwith:
  • Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deservingBloggy Friends.
  • Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.
  • Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.
  • Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!
  • Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

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Who’s looking for good things about Barack?

Posted by Lissa on October 18, 2008

As of 10:50 AM Friday, I’m the number 10 hit for “Good things about Barack Obama.”  (Sorry for the ghetto screencap, but I didn’t know how else to do it.)  This post has gotten 365 hits so far, which is pretty significant for a teeny-tiny blog like my own.

I’m curious.  You Google-searching folks — what are you looking for? 

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Congratulations! It’s a . . .

Posted by Lissa on September 26, 2008

 . . . blog!

I’d say “Awwww!  My very first blog-child!”  But since it’s my fiance I think that would be a little bit weird and creepy. 

I think Mike got just a little jealous seeing how awesome y’all are and how much fun I have blogging.  Michael’s got the blogging bug!

Please, if y’all have a moment, pop over to NeoliberalNotions and tell him hi 🙂

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A Very Serious Question

Posted by Lissa on September 25, 2008

How does one tickle a hermit?  What would such a hermit sound like, when tickled?  And where can I find the nearest hermit, anyway?  Enquiring minds want to know . . .

P.S.  Actually, Jay G, I hopped up and down clapping my hands and going “SQUEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!”  Mike was there.  He’ll tell you. 


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