One nice thing about being pregnant …

It’s a lot easier to leave your warm, toasty, comfortable bed when you wake up each morning desperately needing to pee 🙂

“So, when are you due?”

YES, SOMEONE ACTUALLY SAID THAT TO ME.

I told the folks at work about BabyKitty on Friday. I meant to wait until next week – we’ve a big function this Saturday and I wanted to wait until after it was all done – but that all changed Friday afternoon.

I was saying goodbye to Mr. M — actually, I was *trying* to get him out of the office while he was lingering and, I swear, starting at my bustline — when he looked me up and down and then said the fatal words:

“So, when are you due?”

OH CRAP.

Dear readers, PLEASE tell me you know better than this. The cardinal two rules of pregnancy:

1) Never ask when someone is due unless the words “I’m pregnant” have just come out of her mouth.

2) Never congratulate someone for being pregnant unless there is an actual baby emerging from between her legs at that very moment. (Or the words “I’m pregnant” have just come out of her mouth.

How Mr. M lived to be 65 without knowing these rules, I don’t know.

What was I to do? I couldn’t say “yes” — I hadn’t told my bosses yet! I couldn’t say “no” because it would be lying, and I’m not a good liar. (And they’d know I was lying when the news came out.)

So I popped my eyes as wide as they would go and looked at him with my head cocked sideways, trying to communicate wordlessly – and clearly – “OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST F***ING SAY THAT?!?” and said, “Excuse me?!?!”

That wasn’t enough, oh no. Because he replied by gesturing at my abdomen and asking, “Are you in the family way?”

My head tilted a little more, my eyes got even wider, and I mentally added more curse words to my silent communication.

At this point his wife came to his rescue and instructed me to ignore him.

I wished them a nice day – my eyes still wide – and dismissed them.

Yeah.

On the bright side – it turns out one of my bosses didn’t know the cardinal rules either, so I’m fairly sure I’ve saved him from being slapped, stabbed or shot at some point in his life. There’s that.

Well, how would YOU tell your husband you’re pregnant?

Written back in February . . .

I took the first test on Saturday, February 11, 20112012 [thanks Christina!], at 1:30 AM. I had to pee badly enough to wake me in the night and haul me out of bed. Since today was the first shot I had at the EPT – about five days before my period was due to begin – I thought, why not? (Note: ordering a bulk pack of cheapie early pregnancy tests from Amazon helps. Cheapie as in 30-for-$10.)

There was the usual dark control line and . . . huh . . . was that . . . a very faint second line? Or was I just really sleepy?

I made a mental note to check again when I was *actually* awake and stumbled back to bed.

I took the second test about 7:30 that morning when I was up for real. In fact, I took two. (Again, they’re cheap; as long as you have pee in a cup ANYWAY, why not? BTW, the Solo 2-oz cups are PERFECT to keep in the bathroom for this purpose.)

Aaaaaaand . . . one dark control line . . . and a lighter second line, where before there’d only been pristine white.

“Huh. I could ACTUALLY BE PREGNANT.”

I told myself not to count my chickens. I went to the living room and drank my morning coffee as usual, reminding myself not to get ahead of the game.

I took the fourth and fifth test at 10:30 before I went grocery shopping. One dark line, one light line.

I bought an expensive digital EPT test at Publix ($16 for two, no cheapie this!). Aaaaand . . . a plus sign appeared.

“Oh my god. Oh my god. This says yes.”

With slightly shaking hands I capped the test and walked over to the study where Mike was eating his lunch. (I thought he’d finished. I swear.)

“Hey, love?” I called out as nonchalantly as I could.

“Yes?”

“Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what?”

“Could you clean the kitty litter today?”

(That’s been one of my duties since we moved into the Raj Mahal (house). In fairness, it was Mike’s duty for the years before that in the Kitty Den (apartment).)

“Um, okay. Why?”

“And, actually, could you kind of clean it for the foreseeable future?” And I showed him the test.

(P.S. I took a total of ten EPTs. They all turned up positive. I was therefore fairly sure that BabyKitty 2012 was a go!)