Adventures in Parenting – Dinner edition

The Little Prince (formerly BabyKitty2012) has been waking up between 4:15 and 5:15 AM completely starving. The one time he’s slept through until six a.m. was the night when he absolutely, categorically refused his goodnight bottle and instead ate two helpings of solid food. I therefore decided to feed him extra dinner last night in hopes it would do the trick.

It was a little difficult to start with; he kept making “Uh! Uh! Uh!” sounds and refusing food. I quickly figured out that The Answer was a) give him his own spoon; b) hold the food container on the tray so he could access it; c) let him smear bits around and dab with his own spoon while I shoveled in the rest.  Once Mama caught on, he DEVOURED the whole squash serving in less than two minutes. Excited, I called for another food container from the cupboard and started spooning in turkey and sweet potatoes. He was LOVING it!! Nom nom nom nom nom . . . And then . . . (experienced parents, you know where I’m going with this) . . .

Halfway through the second container of food, he looked up at me and coughed. Then coughed again. And then THIS happened:

A *HOSE* of orange liquidy food fountained onto the high chair tray as I shrieked “Oh my god!” He coughed. And then did it again. “Oh my GOD!” I yelped.

A third projectile puke.

“Baby! Little Prince! Oh god!”

A fourth, though the volume was definitely decreased at this point.

A shout from the garage. “Is everything okay?”

“No!” I called desperately. “Mike, I need you!!”

A fifth upchuck. Not much orange stuff left.

“Oh, poor baby!”

A dry-heave or two, and he was done. He whimpered and held up his arms to me asking for a cuddle, as orange vomit puddled on the tray and flowed down his shirt.

“Oh, HELL no,” I informed him gently and lovingly.

Mike came hobbling in.  “Oh my god. What do I do to help?”

“Run a bath,” I told him succinctly.

I gingerly removed his shirt and bib and added them to the disgusting high chair, carried him into the bathroom, stripped him and popped him into the tub. Then the happy, laughing, cheerful baby had a wonderful time playing with his toys and talking with his da-da while I cleaned up the natural disaster in the dining room.

A half hour later I gave him a bottle and put him to bed. He slept until 4:20 this morning.

The lesson? You CAN have too much of a good thing. Next time, I’ll wait before I give him the second helping!!

Well, that was fast.

Weeks that BK12 has been at preschool: 2
Days that I’ve been sniffling, stuffy-headed and sore-throated: 3

Oy. Everyone told me I’d get sick once he went to school, but I didn’t think it’d happen so quickly! Though the sleep deprivation that goes with my return probably didn’t help.

Yours, with tissues and cough drops,
Lissa

P.S. I’m so determined to avoid cold meds that I actually dug out this thing. It’s every bit as pleasant as I remembered.

Merry Christmas from Florida!!

I wish you all a wonderful and happy Christmas!!!

Happy [Belated] Halloween from BabyKitty and Rajah!

Thank you SO much, everyone, for your kind wishes and sincere congratulations. I read every one of your comments, of course, and some were so thoughtful they made me tear up. As you all predicted, my life has changed IMMENSELY since BabyKitty made his appearance; one of these days I’ll put together a post describing some of the differences. In the meantime, I can at least give you my thanks. In the form of Halloween pictures. 🙂

As the caterpillar turns to beautiful butterfly, so Rajah turns into . . . a really silly looking butterfly.

As cute as our kitty is . . . he’s got nothing on our Human Kitty!

I hope you all had a safe and happy Halloween!

Labor Day

24 hours of contractions, another 18.5 hours at the hospital, and look what we got!

Fun with False Labor

I trooped along to my weekly doctor appointment yesterday evening and he, um, had his way with me. I’d say he went a bit far for a first date, but then again I’ve been seeing him since February, so it’s not as hoydenish as you might think.

And then I spent the rest of the evening having contractions and trying not to freak out.

I mean, I’m not due until Tuesday, I’m not having weird nesting urges or bursts or energy or backaches, and the doctor had JUST examined me and nothing was imminent. So it was definitely false labor and Braxton-Hicks contractions.

Right?

The only thing is, I *kept* having contractions. As in every five minutes or so, sometimes less. They weren’t PAINFUL contractions . . . and they weren’t increasing in strength . . . so I reminded myself that it wasn’t real labor and went on tidying the kitchen.

That pretty much continued all evening. And my sleep is very interrupted nowadays anyway, but I do recall waking up for a few more of them.

But this morning they seem to have calmed down, and I didn’t wake up to a soaked bed or anything. So I think I’m good for another few days.

I really do have to make the guest room ready, though, because for a while I thought last night might be It.

Give me a few more days, BabyKitty, and then everything will be prepared!

The State of the Bump

In no particular order. . .

– Oof. I’m HUGE. I’m up almost exactly thirty pounds and it takes serious, concentrated effort to roll over in bed at night.

– I’m done with heels. I’ve been wearing Crocs heels that have about two inches of padding under the toes and four inches under the heels, but my knees have informed me in no uncertain terms to cut that sh*t out until some of the weight comes off.

– The doctor said last week that he could feel the head down in the “go!” area. Then, this week, as they started to actually check for dilation / effacement, he said he couldn’t be 100% sure it was the head rather than the butt. So I’m heading for an ultrasound early next week. I’m very, very interested to get an estimated fetal weight on BabyKlarman 🙂

– Braxton-Hicks! Mike and I have taken a few walks and Baby tends to tighten up when we do. I mentioned that to the doctor and he informed me that Baby’s not “tightening up,” and he’s not “stretching” – that’s a warm-up contraction. Really? I thought contractions were going to hit all the way from my groin to my collarbone, make it impossible to breathe, and last for at least thirty seconds. Apparently I was wrong.

– Baby often goes . . . LOPSIDED. He turns and pokes out and it’s almost always on my right side. Just look:

My finger’s on my belly button. See how the belly is listing to starboard??

– Both Target and Amazon send you 10% completion coupons to get the last items off your baby registry. I went and picked up a whole bunch of stuff at Target. Then I used my iPhone to try and add every single item in my cart to my baby registry before checking out. Technology is AWESOME.

– I’m really looking forward to Baby being here, but I’m also trying to savor my last weeks of solo independence. You know – stopping on a whim to get a pedicure, or a coffee, or running in and out of the grocery store to get just one item. I do realize that that will be much more of an adventure going forward.

Have a happy Friday, everyone! Two weeks and change till the due date! … and no, I still haven’t decided on a name. Let alone a moniker. 🙂

I’m more grateful than ever for the miracles of technology

As I laboriously hoiked myself out of bed for my usual two a.m. bathroom run, I thanked the gods once again for Lasik.

Remember this post?

With BabyKitty’s impending birth, I’m more grateful than ever that I can SEE. I’m doing at least one, sometimes two, bathroom runs per night, and I know that will only increase. In about three weeks, those bathroom runs will morph into nursing sessions. It is a magical, wondrous, marvelous gift to NOT have to worry about finding my glasses and shoving them onto my face so as to avoid cats and other impedimenta underfoot.

And once again a huge thank-you goes out to my sweetie, who made it happen 🙂

P.S. Lasik is wonderful for many, many reasons, one of which is being a great case study for what happens with medical technology that isn’t covered by insurance. I could never have afforded Lasik when it first came out; only rich people could buy that luxury. Over time, enough of them bought it that, by the time I got lasered, it was better, faster, safer, and much, much cheaper than all the trust-fund babies got ten years before. Teh Market – It works!

Misandrous Midwives

Mike and I went to a six-hour childbirth class on Saturday. It was . . . interesting.

The pros:

– There was a lot of good information
– They went into detail about natural versus medicated childbirth and the levels of pain medication available
– They also detailed the run-up to labor (which, I hope, will allow me to avoid having my water break in a grocery store or – horrors!! – the office of Sunshine Financial)
– They showed a lot of clips of babies being born – and no one passed out!

The cons:

– They were noticeably biased towards non-medicated childbirth. (Mike pointed out that calling it “natural childbirth” is pretty funny considering that only about 10% of women do it.)
– There was a definite anti-men slant.

I really wished there had been one mother-daughter team or a lesbian couple in our class. The anti-men bias was stupid because it was so UNNECESSARY! The teacher would sternly point her finger and . . . . well, here’s how she said it, and here’s how I would have phrased it:

Misandrous Midwife: “Now, coaches, she may want you to talk to her, in which case, TALK! Or she may just look at you and” (slashes hand across throat) “in which case SHUT UP. She may tell the whole room that you HAVEN’T SET UP THE CRIB YET! Or HOW MANY TIMES SHE HAD TO TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT TO THE CURB! Men, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING! KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!”

Hypothetical Instructor Lissa: “Guys, your women are going to be in a lot of pain. Make sure you are very attentive to their needs. If they want distraction, have a story ready and be ready to chat. If she waves you off, keep it quiet for a while – she’s trying to concentrate. She may also say some things that she may later regret – if she remembers them – which she normally wouldn’t. Don’t take it personally and just keep rolling with the punches.”

Both versions get across the same information, but in MY version you don’t have to be a dick about it.

Also, they took the guys aside and made them practice changing diapers and putting a shirt on baby dolls. Twice.

Are women magically born knowing how to change diapers? Don’t you think it’s both sexist and stupid to make ONLY the guys practice that?

Oh well. Five weeks to go!!!

Fly, baby, fly!!

Blogging from 10,000 feet up! I think BabyKitty was entertained by the takeoff; he did a couple flips and kicked a bit. Yes, I’m stretching and making sure to move about the cabin 🙂

Before I left for the airport I did my usual pre-flight purge of my purse. Honestly, I kind of forget all the sharp and stabbies / forbidden objects I carry on a daily basis. Namely:

The SIG Swiss army knife
The tiny folding knife on my keychain in case I forget the Swiss army knife
My most favorite-ist Hideaway knife
A random hollow point .380 round (how did that get loose??)
And my pepper spray

They’re mostly sitting beside my bed at home (the Hideaway is in my suitcase, along with one assisted-opening knife).

I know, I know, the best real weapon is that gray stuff between my ears, but it’s sad to have my lethal tools taken away …