Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Archive for June, 2011

The weirdest compliment I’ve gotten all week

Posted by Lissa on June 24, 2011

A woman I had never met before told me I had “gorgeous, gorgeous teeth,”

Then she called over another woman, who also told me I had “gorgeous teeth. Just gorgeous.”

Then SHE (the second woman) called her HUSBAND over to admire my teeth!!

Thank goodness I was at the dentist’s office, or it really would have freaked me out. 🙂

Happy Friday!!!

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Happy Caturday: Vending Machine Edition

Posted by Lissa on June 18, 2011

Maybe he’s not as dumb as I think he is?

That’s his automatic feeder, and he’s figured out how to stick his paw up the mouth and make it spit out food. No wonder he’s gaining weight!!!

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In which I am very glad that I keep a first aid kit in my car

Posted by Lissa on June 16, 2011

It’s a gorgeous summer day in Florida. The birds are singing. The sky is blue. I take my time strolling to the office mailbox, turning my face up to the sun. I close my eyes to savor the rays on my face, take a deep breath, and lower my head to keep walking.

Good thing, too. Because otherwise I wouldn’t have seen that lovely sun glinting off the Magnum wrapper in the parking lot.

(And no, I don’t mean the new ice cream treat with the horrible name. I mean the . . . Well, you all know damn well what I mean!!)

I think … I *believe* … that it was dropped and run over. That’s why there was a slit down the front and a bit of latex sticking out. My mind refuses to comprehend any other possibility.


So, yeah. If you don’t keep a full kit in your car with band-aids, gauze, tape, triple antibiotic, PLASTIC BAGS AND PAPER TOWELS AND GLOVES GLOVES GLOVES etc … You may want to. You never know what icky thing you’ll stumble upon.

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Fun with blood cells — Technology kicks ass!!

Posted by Lissa on June 14, 2011

Thank you everyone for your lovely comments yesterday! I thank you for stopping by Lissa’s Ice Cream Shop; I couldn’t do this without you 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

So we’re poring over the different types of blood cells in class last night (“Never Let Monkeys Eat Bananas”*) and as usual people start pulling out their cameras to snap pix of the model. I’d never bothered to do so before, seeing as how the book illustrations are pretty good, but made an exception in this case. After all, if that is the exact model that’s going to be in the lab practical, it helps to have a good photo!

And this is where Teh Awesome comes in.

Step 1: snap pic with iPhone
Step 2: use PhotoSync to transfer to iPad
Step 3: upload to Art Studio and label
Step 4: email to all of your grateful tablemates

Ta daaaaaaahhh!!


I love living in the future!!!!

*Mnemonic that lists the blood cells from most common to most rare

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Happy birthblogiversary to me!!

Posted by Lissa on June 13, 2011

Yesterday I turned 31 and earlier this week my blog turned 3. Yay!!

Many thanks to Jay G, JD, Doubletrouble, Wai, Christina, Breda, Caleb, and Ambulance Driver, who were kind enough to leave birthday wishes on that Facebook account that I never use 🙂

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How High Heels Caused The Decline of Western Civilization

Posted by Lissa on June 9, 2011

Once upon a time all humans went barefoot. We gathered and hunted, drank pure water and breathed clean air, and lived happily ever after.

Oh, and there were unicorns.

It all changed with the arrival of designer footwear.

Suddenly women were encouraged to strap little poles onto their feet. Gone was the natural equilibrium and balance for which we were designed. Physical agility was banished in favor of looking two to four inches taller.

And what, pray tell, has been the result??

CULTIVATION OF FEMALE HELPLESSNESS. No longer able to kill our own bears and drag them back to our kitchens, women began depending on men to provide sustenance.

DEMONIZATION OF MEN. Learned female helplessness was quickly followed by resentment of those were were NOT helpless, I.e., those who were not tottering about with sticks on their soles. Also, men’s shoes were a lot more comfy. Those bastards!

And finally, and worst of all — Stilettos –> Stilts –> CIRCUS CLOWNS. EVIL, EVIL CIRCUS CLOWNS.

The snake in the garden of Eden gave Eve a pair of snakeskin pumps, by the way. Then she used them to kill unicorns.

Yup, there’s pretty much no evil on the face of the earth that doesn’t stem from women’s high-heeled shoes.

….. Why no, I’m not BitterHateRage-y over going to New York City, Land of Fashion and Beauty, and being forced by my sesamoiditis to wear Croc flats the whole time. Why do you ask? 🙂

UPDATE: Jay G is amused. Thanks!

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It is MOST DEFINITELY a Monday!!!!

Posted by Lissa on June 6, 2011

So I had a really fabulous weekend, and maybe I’ll post on that tomorrow, but first I have to whine.

Top Five Reasons Lissa is Whining Right Now (in chronological order)

5. Mike left this morning at five a.m.

4. Traffic was bad this morning

3. The power flickered this morning at work

2. The air conditioner at the office was on the fritz so I melted off my makeup.

And the number one reason Lissa is whining is …. *drumroll*

1. Due to the no-AC, we had all the doors at the office open for breeze. And in TEN MINUTES DURING THE STAFF MEETING, THIS HAPPENED:



I picked up a baker’s dozen of red, itchy, swollen welts and no one else suffered a single bite.

I hate mosquitos.

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Jacked up!!!!

Posted by Lissa on June 3, 2011

Seen in the college parking lot:


Yes, there is an actual stepladder welded to the side to get in and out. That’s how amazing it is.

For proper scale (and more random awesome – check the bungee cord!!):


I love this state.

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Damn right it’s negligence!!!

Posted by Lissa on June 2, 2011

I wonder … Do ordinary people have any idea how much us gunnies HATE people like this???

A man whose handgun went off in an Orlando restaurant Tuesday night may soon face a negligence charge in the incident, police said.

Officers were called to the Smokey Bones restaurant at 3400 E. Colonial Drive about 6:45 p.m. Investigators say the man was carrying a semi-automatic handgun in his pocket — not in a holster.

Peanut butter belongs with jelly, oxygen belongs in air and GUNS BELONG IN HOLSTERS YOU IDIOT DOUCHEBAG!!!!

Now, it’s always possible that the papers got the story wrong, in which case I will issue an apology. But if everything played out the way they say it did, then it’s just sad that Darwin’s Law didn’t affect strike this fool when he was flying solo.

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On Old Olympus’ Towering Top, A Finn And German Viewed Some Hops

Posted by Lissa on June 1, 2011

In other words, it’s A&P II exam time. Yay!!

Do y’all use mnemonics to help you remember things? I always do. The groove at the back of your tongue that divides the oral and pharyngeal parts is the terminal sulcus, because everyone knows the bulimic are terminally sulky. (Wouldn’t you be?) Some Say Marry Money But My Brother Says Big Business Makes Money – that determines which of the cranial nerves are sensory, motor or both. (The title is a mnemonic for the names of the twelve cranial nerves.) How do you know which side of your forearm is the radius side? *make dramatic thumbs-up motion* Because it’s RAD, man!!! (That would be the thumbs side.)

Any other fun memory hints for me? Especially on the Central Nervous System and the Perioheral Nervous System?

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