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Archive for August, 2012

Michael Phelps made me cry!

Posted by Lissa on August 31, 2012

When Mike showed me this ad a few weeks ago, I seriously laughed until I cried. He had to fetch me a tissue. And so, I present to you in all it’s glory…

Read the rest of this entry »

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Today’s edition of “Imagine if a Republican said that”: NEGROHOOD

Posted by Lissa on August 30, 2012

Typos are embarrassing. I sent out a letter to about twenty-five clients last week and didn’t realize it was still dated August 13, the date I composed it. I hate when I make mistakes like that.

I can’t IMAGINE making a mistake like this:

An Assembly candidate whose campaign sent mailers using the word “negrohood” to residents in his Sheepshead Bay district apologized Wednesday — calling the racially tinged language a “typo.”
“As the candidate, I take full responsibility for this inadvertent error and I am sorry to anyone who was offended by it,” Ben Akselrod, who’s running in the Sept. 13 Democratic primary against Assemblyman Steven Cymbrowitz, said in a statement.
The Friends of Ben Akselrod sent the mailers last week, claiming that his opponent “has allowed crime to go up over 50% in our negrohood so far this year.”

What in the name of all that’s holy were these people thinking? How did that even get past the spellchecker, let alone the copywriters and editors? Good lord.

Mike asked me the other day if I thought that “racist Americans are almost entirely in one political coalition.” I thought about it and told him that I was quite sure both parties had members who were racist, but that Democrats were far more likely to make idiotic racist statements because they don’t get called on it. “Macaca” = the end of your political career. “They gon’ put y’all back in chains” = Joe Being Joe.

And since we’re speaking of political idiocies and parties, I should mention that Todd Akin is a f***ing stupid, senseless, misogynist, unscientific moron and I hope the write-in campaign buries this fool’s political career forever ‘n’ ever.

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Paul Ryan vs Joe Biden

Posted by Lissa on August 29, 2012

Go here for an amusing series of photo comparisons. I’m just going to feature one here, for the ladies:


You’re welcome 🙂

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How many people read Dreams from My Father?

Posted by Lissa on August 28, 2012

I know I didn’t. I wasn’t interested in putting more money in the Obamas’ coffers and I wasn’t particularly interested in his backstory.

We learned with the “Obama ate a dog” revelation that most reporters and news media personnel didn’t read it either; that’s why it was so funny and so amazing when a mid-level blogger broke the story.*

Thanks to the Obama 2016 movie, more excerpts like the following are getting attention:

Looking back, I’m not sure that Lolo ever fully understood what my mother was going through during these years, why the things he was working so hard to provide for her seemed only to increase the distance between them. [snip] Sometimes I would overhear him and my mother arguing in their bedroom, usually about her refusal to attend his company dinner parties, where American businessmen from Texas and Louisiana would slap Lolo’s back and boast about the palms they had greased to obtain the new offshore drilling rights, while their wives complained to my mother about the quality of Indonesian help. He would ask her how it would look for him to go alone, and remind her that these were her own people, and my mother’s voice would rise to almost a shout.

They are not my people.

… She had always encouraged my rapid acculturation in Indonesia… She had taught me to disdain the blend of ignorance and arrogance that too often characterized Americans abroad.

Part of the whole idea of America is that you get to have your own ideas. Good, bad, stupid, productive, whatever — there’s no “party-approved” way that you have to think.

But think about the values that that snippet illustrates. Lolo works hard to provide and get ahead and then gets criticized and viewed as selling out to Americans, who Obama’s mother insists are NOT her people.

I can’t help but think it illustrates a background and a worldview that the majority of Americans would not find suitable in their President. And I rather think the major news organizations agree with me, or they would have aired these clips and given them wider audiences.

*For the record – I have no desire to eat dog, any more than I have desire to eat horsemeat or raw octopus. That doesn’t make it bad, wrong or evil – just not to my own cultural taste. But I’d be more likely to try dog than to strap a dog to the roof of my car, FWIW.

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My biggest disappointment with the RNC convention postponement…

Posted by Lissa on August 27, 2012

… is that I was really, REALLY looking forward to Joe Biden declaring, “All free men, wherever they may live, are citizens of Tampa, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words, ‘Ich bin ein Tampon.'”

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Fly, baby, fly!!

Posted by Lissa on August 10, 2012

Blogging from 10,000 feet up! I think BabyKitty was entertained by the takeoff; he did a couple flips and kicked a bit. Yes, I’m stretching and making sure to move about the cabin 🙂

Before I left for the airport I did my usual pre-flight purge of my purse. Honestly, I kind of forget all the sharp and stabbies / forbidden objects I carry on a daily basis. Namely:

The SIG Swiss army knife
The tiny folding knife on my keychain in case I forget the Swiss army knife
My most favorite-ist Hideaway knife
A random hollow point .380 round (how did that get loose??)
And my pepper spray

They’re mostly sitting beside my bed at home (the Hideaway is in my suitcase, along with one assisted-opening knife).

I know, I know, the best real weapon is that gray stuff between my ears, but it’s sad to have my lethal tools taken away …

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Blast from the past: How DID the ten good things about an Obama presidency play out?

Posted by Lissa on August 8, 2012

First off, it’s kind of amazing to me that I’ve been blogging over four years. Where DOES the time go?

Second, go take a look at this post I did back in the day: 10 Good Things About a Barack Obama Presidency. Go on, now. I’ll wait.

Back? Okay. So how did my prediction play out over the last four years?

10. Skinny fashions? Well, I can’t say I’ve noticed that on the streets, whatever Michelle Obama might tell us about the undesirability of surplus fat.

9. Out of wedlock birth decrease? Hmmm. I still think they set a good example but I can’t find any data older than 2009 so I don’t know if there’s been an effect on illegitimate birth rates.

8. No riots? Check! Unless you count OWS, which I don’t, because that was something different.

7. Have we been seeing lots of media coverage over the last four years that paint the economy as brighter than it is? Not to mention dippy articles about “funemployment”? Check!

6. Did everyone temporarily pretend to love America? Well, they DID give our President a Nobel Peace Prize. Check!

5. I missed somewhat on this one. Sure enough, the rest of the world DID go back to hating us, but rather than the media saying it was THEIR fault . . . they just didn’t report it. (For a recent example, compare press coverage of Mitt Romney’s “Jerusalem gaffe” – first two results on Google News have almost 5000 sources total – with “Obama turkey bat”, which is currently returning 150.)

4. Bitching and griping? Yeah, I’ve done my share, but the fact that I didn’t vote for the current President hasn’t helped a lot.

3. Young college folks disillusioned? Well, it’s a work in progress. The young folks I know are now aware that Pres Obama is not a lightworker, a miracle-worker, or The Next Big Thing. A lot of them are also unemployed. They still think Obama is a hella-cool guy and that Republican politicians are scum, but the bloom is off the rose, for sure. (And since I agree that many/most politicians in general are scum, we’re halfway on the same page here.)

2. Bill Clinton isn’t QUITE an ambassador to the heartland, but his speech at the convention should be verrrrry interesting.

1. Surprisingly, this one makes me the saddest. I always MUCH preferred that the first black president we elected would be, you know, COMPETENT, but I did plan to enjoy the symbolism regardless. Now? What an absolutely terrible example to set for our first president-of-color. It’s as if groundbreaking figures like Jackie Robinson and Jesse Owens were replaced by Urkel; how well do you think HE would have done breaking the color barrier when he sucked at baseball or track? It’s awful. The first black president is a feckless, incompetent, promise-breaking, narcissistic failure. Dammit dammit dammit.

I can’t say I’m thrilled about a Mitt Romney presidency – he loves big government fixes in a way that makes my toes curl, and NOT in a good way – but I think it will be easier to redo my silver linings list if he wins.

I hope.

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Posted by Lissa on August 7, 2012

I woke this morning to a small rhythmic thumping on the left side of my ginormous belly.

It was too hard to be a heartbeat. It was too steady and regular to be another bout of kicking.

Yep, baby just had his first hiccups! And it was WEIRD.

I wasn’t kidding about my ginormous belly, by the way:


I’ve gained about twenty pounds and I still have ten weeks to go. Happily, the weight is pretty much confined to the baby bump; the rest of me looks about the same. Getting things off the floor is more difficult than I ever imagined, but the kicks and somersaults are marvelously enjoyable. it’s also pretty funny seeing my dress or nightgown twitch as he whacks me or flips around. He may be thirty weeks old but his head is already quite hard, it seems.

Baby says hello to all of you!!

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Did you know RSVP’s are out of style?

Posted by Lissa on August 6, 2012

It’s true.

My baby shower was a few weeks ago and I invited perhaps 20 people. With about a week and a half to go I had gotten “yes” RSVP’s from … Five people.

Two of whom were my mother and my mother-in-law.

I’m not going to lie – I was freaking out a little. I had visions of the six of us sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee and just having a brunch group instead of a shower. And, yes, this event was haunting my thoughts.

I eventually asked my mother-in-law to track down responses the weekend before and we ended up with thirteen people, which was wonderful – enough people to make it a party, but not so many that we couldn’t all fit in the living room.

This came to mind again yesterday when friends of ours cancelled a dinner invitation. Now, they do have a reasonable excuse: this was their first weekend in town (I.e. we were bringing them dinner for when the movers left). We had texted with them around eleven am or noon and asked what kind of pizza we should bring (the answer was “pepperoni”). And then, around 3:15, Mike got the cancellation call.

Now, again, they have a very valid excuse – the movers ran late, the baby was cranky, etc. But more notice would have been nice.

And I got to wondering whether this is a generational thing.

You see, the prep that I had already made for our dinner visit – I baked pumpkin bread so they’d have breakfast foods, I baked vanilla cupcakes with key lime buttercream frosting for dessert, and I bought fruit salad to serve with the pizza – is perhaps a little more than people my age usually do for a dinner visit. I think it was the standard for dinner visits thirty years ago, but no longer. Maybe that’s one reason cancellations and lack of RSVP’s are more common.

What do you think?

P.S. Hey you kids, get off my lawn!!

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