lookingforlissa

Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Posts Tagged ‘People are idiots’

Disneyland is hazardous to your health!

Posted by Lissa on September 19, 2012

Well, certainly hazardous to your MENTAL health – ten minutes inside It’s a Small World and I think you’d tell me the recipe to the secret sauce or where the jewels were buried or anything else I want to know – but that’s not what I meant. Look at this pic Mike snapped from his California trip:

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Yes, really. They needed a giant sign to tell you not to drink the bleach they use to clean the bathrooms.

Or take this Starbucks sign, also from Cali:

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Good lord.

Mark Steyn pointed out recently that a free society is not free when it’s regulated to death:

STEYN: Yeah. I think this is not small stuff. And I think there’s a problem here. Again, there’s a sort of element of delusion on the right about how important this stuff is. Because people do get annoyed about it, but again, it — they don’t — I think a lot of people don’t quite fully understand the implications of it. A society in which you need 500 dollars worth of permits to put a lemonade stand on your lawn is not a free society.

You could have the Second Amendment. I mean, a lot of people when I mentioned — I think it was on Rush I mentioned the lemonade — like, half a dozen lemonade stand stories from around the country. And a couple guys e-mailed me and said oh, this isn’t important stuff, Steyn, you shouldn’t be talking about this. We’ve got the Second Amendment, so nobody’s going to do all the — you know, nobody’s going to come and take away our freedoms.

That’s all very well, but you could — you can easily wind up in a situation where you still have the Second Amendment and every other freedom has been lost. A society in which you cannot legally sell lemonade in your front yard is not a free society. A society — you mentioned the hardware store. A society in which a hardware store in Ventura County, California cannot put out complimentary coffee and donuts for its customers is not a free society.

And at some point people have to get real about this. I think this is the way — this is one of the reasons, by the way, where the sort of codification of the U.S. Constitution actually gets in the way of looking at things clearly. Because clearly what’s happened over the course of the last eighty years is that successive governments at the national level, but also at the state and county level, have ridden a coach and horses through the principles of the U.S. Constitution. But because it’s still there on a piece of paper that some guy put down on parchment with ink and quill feather and it’s actually written down, people still think that it’s there and it’s effective even though eighty years of big government expansion has basically driven a coach and horses through it.

I think those two examples are EXACTLY what he meant.

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The breast-feeding bullies are at it again!

Posted by Lissa on July 31, 2012

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. They’re locking up infant formula like it’s medicine. New Yorkers are bloody BRILLIANT, I tell you!

Under Latch On NYC, new mothers who want formula won’t be denied it, but hospitals will keep infant formula in out-of-the-way secure storerooms or in locked boxes like those used to dispense and track medications.
With each bottle a mother requests and receives, she’ll also get a talking-to. Staffers will explain why she should offer the breast instead.

I personally would not want to try to lecture a woman who has just pushed an infant out of her pelvis – I’ve heard that can be rather grueling – but then again I ALSO would not want to try to lecture other women about their infant diet choices in general. What a good thing the geniuses in Nanny Bloomberg’s administration are smarter than I am!

I particularly loved this part:

Lisa Paladino, of Staten Island University Hospital, said: “The key to getting more moms to breast-feed is making the formula less accessible. This way, the RN has to sign out the formula like any other medication. The nurse’s aide can’t just go grab another bottle.”

The key to getting more people to do what YOU think is best for them . . . is to take away their other options. Or at least make them more tedious, more difficult, and less convenient.

And don’t forget the lecture! Nanny-statism without a lecture is like spaghetti without meatballs!!

Then again, it could be worse. I’m surprised Nanny Bloomberg didn’t go the full Gisele Bundchen route. Shhhh, don’t give him ideas. . .

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Why the breast-feeding magazine cover didn’t bother me

Posted by Lissa on May 16, 2012

I mean, I think it’s a horrible thing to do to the poor kid – he’s definitely gonna get his ass whupped on the playground for the rest of his LIFE, and he’s hardly old enough to consent to that – but I wasn’t shocked.

Why?

Well, because I’d already read all about it.

I’m a new parent! I have to do research! I need to read about horrible, creepy things that crazy people do to their kids so that I don’t do them!

(Okay, whether I’d read about it or not, I would horsewhip anyone who tried to teach my little toddler girl (if it’s a girl) to pole dance. That wasn’t ever in doubt.)

And if anyone ever tried “baby yoga” with BabyKitty I’d consider it attempted murder.

In conclusion: What the HELL is wrong with these people?!?!

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Gee, you mean that didn’t fix it??

Posted by Lissa on May 10, 2012

I went over to grab my sheets from the big Xerox printer, but nothing was there.

“Did you get my email?” Geico piped up.

“Nope, but I’m assuming the printer’s down,” I replied, looking at the numerous indicator lights on the display, all of which were flashing.

“Yeah, it stopped working. I tried to fix it” — he demonstrated for me, slamming his two hands down so that almost all the buttons were pressed simultaneously and repeating the motion several times — “but it didn’t work.”

It took every ounce of self control I had not to *facepalm* right in front of him.

I should tell him to just kick the bottom next time; it’s less likely to throw the machine into a fatal tizzy.

What brilliant fixes have people in your office demonstrated for you?

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“Chink in the armor”? REALLY?!

Posted by Lissa on February 20, 2012

An ESPN writer posted an actual story with that as the headline. Really.

*ahem ahem* *mee-mee-mee-mee*

How DARE they? Don’t they know how HURTFUL and OFFENSIVE that statement is? We need a full study of racism against Asian-Americans! We need better preferential treatment! We need our asses kissed and our sensibilities pandered to!!!!

Okay, just kidding.

Seriously? I thought it was pretty funny. Do I think the headline writer should have been fired? ABSOLUTELY. Anyone that stupid is way too stupid to work for an organization that wishes to be profitable and that depends upon the goodwill of its customers. Hell, anyone that stupid is probably too stupid to flush the toilet, zip his/her pants or chew with a closed mouth.

I’m glad that “chink” is a slur that’s pretty much died an ignominious death. I think any headline writer who used “dago”, “wop” or any other ethnic-slur-not-relating-to-blacks would be fired as well, and rightly so. Again, I’m not personally offended – I laughed incredulously when my husband told me – but you CANNOT publish a headline like that in a national forum. You can’t. Not if you want and plan to keep your job.

(I have more sympathy for people who stay stupid things live that can’t be bleeped in time. We’ve all had stupid things slip out. A published headline, on the other hand, takes a deliberate decision to write, review and hit “launch”; I’m just not as sympathetic.)

Stupidity has consequences. (At least, it SHOULD.)

Let us all take a deep breath and thank The Great Deity that there’s no Asian equivalent of Al Sharpton to start whipping up riot mobs. (Of course, the mobbees are probably too busy studying. It’s an Asian thing.)

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Did those people never READ Orwell?

Posted by Lissa on February 14, 2012

The “Truth Team”? Oh for heaven’s sake, why go halfsies? Why not just bloody call it the Ministry of Truth?

“If the other guys are going to run a campaign based on misrepresenting the president’s record – and their own – we have two options: sit back and let these lies go unchallenged, or fight back with the truth,” deputy Obama campaign manager Stephanie Cutter said in an email. ”We’re fighting back.”

I know, I know. It’s not possible for anyone to oppose the liberal agenda from genuine concern or disagreement; one could only do so from malice, ignorance, or stupidity, and therefore one’s opinion can only be false.

All they need is a tail they can whisk as they skip back and forth . . .

(I wonder how much of my political thinking was because I read Animal Farm when I was too young to connect it to Communism.)

P.S. When I say “those people,” no, I do NOT mean “black people,” so stick it up your tailpipe.

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A haiku for Gisele

Posted by Lissa on February 10, 2012

You stupid bimbo
Made our loss hurt even more
Although you’ve said worse.

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Damn right it’s negligence!!!

Posted by Lissa on June 2, 2011

I wonder … Do ordinary people have any idea how much us gunnies HATE people like this???

A man whose handgun went off in an Orlando restaurant Tuesday night may soon face a negligence charge in the incident, police said.

Officers were called to the Smokey Bones restaurant at 3400 E. Colonial Drive about 6:45 p.m. Investigators say the man was carrying a semi-automatic handgun in his pocket — not in a holster.

Peanut butter belongs with jelly, oxygen belongs in air and GUNS BELONG IN HOLSTERS YOU IDIOT DOUCHEBAG!!!!

Now, it’s always possible that the papers got the story wrong, in which case I will issue an apology. But if everything played out the way they say it did, then it’s just sad that Darwin’s Law didn’t affect strike this fool when he was flying solo.

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There oughta be a law!!!!

Posted by Lissa on May 11, 2011

I was driving home yesterday and closing in on my exit when I notice that the car in front of me was … a wee bit wobbly. It gently swayed from one side of the lane to the next, touching the left and right lane markets with loving and regular attention.

I gave him a fair bit of space, ready at any point to dodge around an accident, then gunned it to pass him and exit the highway. As I did so, I curiously glanced over to see what the hell his problem was. Eating and driving? Cell phone? Map? Hooker giving him road head?

Cell phone? Oh yes. He was holding it to his ear with his right hand and driving with his left hand. Unfortunately, his left and was also holding an EXCEL SPREADSHEET propped against the wheel, which he referenced frequently as he drove.

WTF?!?!

I call for an immediate law banning Excel spreadsheets in cars!

P.S. I happen to think that driving like a stupid d-bag is a bad idea. But I also think that one should ticket the result — swerving in an out of lane lines, driving recklessly, etc. — rather than the cause. Some people can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and check their directions while driving safetly. Some people CAN’T. To ban each myriad little doohickey or action that may or may not cause the driver to behave in an unsafe manner multiplies the stupid laws we have on the books for no reason.

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Seen at the college bookstore

Posted by Lissa on May 10, 2011

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Do they look better if you boil them with bacon????

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