Gentlemen, start your WAXING
Posted by Lissa on October 16, 2008
Okay, do y’all remember this post?
Men, welcome to the new level of pussy-whipping.
This whole thing blows my mind, truly. It’s one thing for punk-rock stars and effeminate High School Musical types to wear make-up, but they really want regular guys on the street to wear it too? And they want WOMEN to buy make-up in order to FORCE THEIR MEN TO WEAR IT?
Well, I spoke too soon. That was not the new level of emasculation. This is:
Men have invaded ladies’ fashion domain a little further, for after ‘man-bras’ and ‘manscara’ the latest must have for men is “mantyhose.”
“Mantyhose”or pantyhose for men have become a popular sheer garment from truck drivers to cowboys.
A self confessed male hosiery-wearer, Harisnya is so passionate about the issue he set up e-MANcipate, a website which he says aims to “accelerate the acceptance of male pantyhose as a regular clothing item”.
Dear readers of the male persuation (who still have your wedding tackle attached and functional), allow me to save you the effort and assuage your curiosity:
HOSIERY IS THE DEVIL.
Also, it will run when you least want it to, so if you’re THAT desperate for a fashion-boosting extra layer of warmth, don’t forget that you’ll also need a spare pair in your man-purse and a bottle of clear nail polish to take care of small snags.
The ONLY acceptable time for a man to wear pantyhose is when surfing, as it will prevent being stung by jellyfish. And even then, I’d recommend a wetsuit.
Good lord.
How about a poll redux?
(h/t The Corner)
UPDATE: Ted linked. Thanks!
lookingforlissa 
Sailorcurt said
I have absolutely no problem with men wearing panty hose for practical reasons. Whether you know it or not, it’s been going on for a long time. I first heard of the practice in high school. I knew several football players that wore them during cold weather to help them retain body heat and avoid hypothermia. Thermal underwear is great, but is bulky. It can make the outer clothing too tight for comfort and restrict mobility. Panty hose can be a lifesaver…literally…in cold climates. I’ve since heard of them being used by snowmobilers, bikers, runners, hunters and any number of other people who need a practical, effective method of retaining body heat in cold weather.
I have to draw the line and agree completely with you when it comes to fashion though. I’m as pragmatic as the next guy and I seriously couldn’t care less about someone ridiculing me for something like wearing panty hose to stay warm…especially when they have to wait for their teeth to stop chattering before issuing their insults. It makes me laugh.
But the whole “metrosexual” fashion industry just makes me shake my head in wonder and amusement. Men wearing hose with shorts? In stylish patterns? Give me a break. Why not just admit your proclivities and start wearing strappy sun dresses and high heels?
Lissa said
I suppose, Sailorcurt, but in my track days the guys would wear athletic tights, i.e. spandex. I have a pair I still wear when it’s below zero, under long skirts/tall boots, and I definitely view them differently from hose!
My dress code at work doesn’t explicitly require us to wear hose so I don’t until it gets really cold. I can’t imagine men CHOOSING to wear the evil stuff for fun!
Sailorcurt said
I would imagine that my high school days were much farther in the past than yours. Besides, I grew up out in the country. There weren’t mega-sporting goods stores right down the road at which to shop. There’s always the financial aspect of it as well. You can pick up a couple pairs of cheap panty hose at your local grocery store or pharmacy for, what, maybe five bucks? I would imagine that some fancy-dancy spandex running suit is a bit more pricey than that.
Besides, the problem seems to lie primarily in the perception of it as somehow being unmanly. As far as I’m concerned, staying warm in cold weather transcends gender issues. Pride goeth before the frostbite.
Lissa said
Well, for all your know I *did* go to high school when you did; all my pix could be that of my daughter. Or I could be a hundred and two and that could be my granddaughter! Oh, the hazards of online dialogue . . .
DirtCrashr said
Whatever holds the disposable diapers in place must be a good thing?? 😉 Okey-dokey, but there’s a difference between that and long-johns…
Weer'd Beard said
Ooh Box Jellies! Thems fuckers are SCARY! Did you know they have primitive eyes and will actully ATTACK things that look yummy? They’re hardly ambush predators, but comparted to standard Medusa-type Jellies they’re fucking fighter-jets!
Still a man picking hosery as a fasion idea is scarier!
B Smith said
I’ve heard a lot of soldiers wear them to keep from chafing during long marches. Never tried that m’self, but it wasn’t out of any sense of pride, I guess I could just never remember to pick them up at the PX. Anyway, it seems like a good idea.
DJMoore said
I voted “Hell, No!”, but stopped short of “Box Jellies” because, let’s face it, armor is manly, even if it’s hosiery armor against deadly blobs of living snot.
Firehand said
I can’t remember which King of England it was, was making a trip to hell(i.e., Scotland) to schmooze and pacify the natives. It was suggested that wearing a kilt at one of the state dinners would go over well. Probably would have, except that he wore pink(‘to suggest flesh tone’) tights.
Let’s just say, the locals were not appreciative. Except in a very undignified way.
John Myers said
PANTYHOSE FOR MEN ROCK!! TRY THEM OUT AND STOP BEING STEREOTYPICAL!