Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Gentlemen, start your pedicures

Posted by Lissa on July 30, 2008

Oh, for cryin’ out loud.  (But don’t!  It might smudge your mascara!)

In an increasingly metrosexual world, perhaps it was just a matter of time.

But yesterday a high street store announced that it would start stocking makeup designed just for men. [snip]

‘Men are more obsessed with their appearance than ever before.  There is no longer any pain in being seen to be vain.’

He added: ‘We believe there is a real market for cosmetic products.  The majority of our customers are women and we believe that these products will be bought by women for their partners, as well as by men themselves.’

You know, I did have a guy friend in high school who occasionally wore mascara; he had a white streak in his eyebrow that made him self-conscious, so he would sometimes use black mascara to cover it.

I had another guy friend in high school who often wore make-up.  He was gay.

Men, welcome to the new level of pussy-whipping. 

This whole thing blows my mind, truly.  It’s one thing for punk-rock stars and effeminate High School Musical types to wear make-up, but they really want regular guys on the street to wear it too?  And they want WOMEN to buy make-up in order to FORCE THEIR MEN TO WEAR IT? 

Female: “Honey, do these pants make my ass look big?”

Male (without looking):  “No dear of course not.  Are you ready to go?”

Female (looking him up and down):  “Well, *I* am, but YOU’RE certainly not.  Just LOOK at those unadorned eyes!  Get back in that bathroom mister and put your guyliner and manscara on.  I didn’t buy it for ME, you know.  My delicate graceful fingers could handle REGULAR eyeliner, I bought the one that looks like a gluestick to accommodate your clumsy paws.”

Male:  “Dear.  That stuff makes me feel like a cheap whore.  Also like a eunuch.”

Female:  “Dear.  You’ll be soliciting sex from a cheap whore for the next two years if you don’t get your little fanny in there and get pretty.”

Male: “I hate my life.”

Let’s do the poll thing again!  (I had fun with it yesterday)

(h/t The Corner)

10 Responses to “Gentlemen, start your pedicures”

  1. Sailorcurt said

    My ex wife used to try to use sex as a weapon to get her way. My response to her was always “you can’t cut me off, you don’t know where I’m getting it”

    I’m still confused about why our marriage didn’t last.[/sarcasm]

  2. The “Ron Paul” option got a giggle out of me.

    Man my wife has a hard enugh time getting me to put moisturizer on my dry skin or to get me to wair the nice clothes she buys me (I hate wairing them because I feel like a shit when I spill stuff on them….my rags I could give a damn)

    Yeah men should be MEN. Not borish macho pigs, but Men! Women should be women! You are what you are, enjoy it!


  3. secretlivesofscientists said

    hahahaaaaa. Its funny how some “strong” chicks complain first that alpha-type men are threatened by them, pussification ensues, and then they wonder why their pussywhipped, imasculated husbands go off and have affairs with the strippers.

    tragic irony, why dost thou liken so well to comedy?

  4. Breda said

    I’m all for personal choice, so I choose manly men. Yes. Masculine, rugged, strong…men.

    And a man who will wear makeup just to get pussy? Doesn’t deserve any.

    Just sayin’.

  5. Jay G. said

    Are you saying I shouldn’t be going for my weekly manicures then?

    Perish the thought!

  6. lookingforlissa said

    Amen to all of that 🙂 (And thanks Jay for THAT image . . . it’ll keep me giggling for the rest of the afternoon)

  7. totwtytr said

    I’m sitting here laughing at the mental image of the 1st Annual Northeast Blogger Shoot and Avon Party. Maybe we’re just not the target demographic for make up for men. I’m thinking more along the lines of John Edwards (he can share with his girlfriend), Barrack Obama (is there make up to cover those Alfred E. Newman ears?), and Barney Frank. Oh wait, he probably DOES wear make up, never mind.

    Thanks for the chuckle.

  8. lookingforlissa said

    TOTWTYTR, did you like your photoshopped pictures? 🙂

  9. Instinct said

    Any man who is wearing makeup is probably not on the ‘giving’ end of the sexual equation anyway if you know what I mean.

  10. […] by Lissa on October 16, 2008 Okay, do y’all remember this post? Men, welcome to the new level of […]

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