Horrors: Bouncing Breast Test
Posted by Lissa on March 24, 2010
(Why yes, I *am* Google-baiting, thank you for asking!)
Disney is searching for real treasure chests for its upcoming shoot of the next “Pirates of the Caribbean” swashbuckler — that is, women with natural breasts.
The movie studio has banned actresses with artificial enhancements for the fourth installment, “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides,” directed by Rob Marshall and starring Johnny Depp as the drunken buccaneer Jack Sparrow.
The filmmakers sent out a casting call last week seeking “beautiful female fit models. Must be 5ft7in-5ft8in, size 4 or 6, no bigger or smaller. Age 18-25. Must have a lean dancer body. Must have real breasts. Do not submit if you have implants.”
And they warn that there’ll be a “show and tell” day.
To make sure LA talent scouts don’t get caught in a “booby trap,” potential lassies will have to undergo a Hollywood-style jiggle-your-jugs test and jog for judges. If there’s nothing moving from the waist up, they’re saying, it’s a dead giveaway that you’re not all flesh and bones — and you’re out.
Apparently, the bouncier the better, especially for sword-fighting action sequences, according to the Sunday Times of London.
To which I sputter: After that mind-numbingly stupid piece of trash called “At World’s End,” they’re making ANOTHER Pirates movie?????
That is all.