Good morning all! My apologies for skimping on yesterday’s post; it was a miss-the-alarm, oversleep, panic-about-missing-the-train kind of day! I’m equally sleepy today, but the coffee was ready and the cat was obnoxiously scratching the side of the bed, so I hauled myself out. Besides, I’m indignant, and a good dose of umbrage is helpful for yanking one’s sleepy butt out of bed.
Why am I indignant? Because I’m surrounded by felons. Yep, that’s right! Thousands upon thousands of them.
According to Harvey Silvergate, the average adults commits roughly three felonies a day — not rapes, murders or theft, usually, but breaking small stupid little rules. Seeing as how I believe almost every student on a Massachusetts campus is a felon, three per DAY seems a little high, but not undoable.
Don’t believe me? See for yourself. These are the kind of weapons prohibited at all colleges and universities in Massachusetts:
1 Sec. 53-206: “slung [sic] shot, air rifle, BB gun, black jack, sand bag, metal or brass knuckles, or any dirk knife, or any switch knife having an automatic spring release device by which a blade is released from the handle, having a blade of over one and one half inches in length, or stiletto, or any knife the edged portion of which is four inches or over in length, or any martial arts weapon or electronic defense weapon, as defined in section 53a-3, or any other dangerous or deadly weapon or instrument.” Sec. 53a-3(6): “any weapon, whether loaded or unloaded, from which a shot may be discharged, or a switchblade knife, gravity knife, bill, blackjack, bludgeon, or metal knuckles.”
No blade that opens with a spring over one and a half inches. Geez, even Boston’s knife laws aren’t that strict! And no knife with an edge longer than four inches? Do they think no one ever cooks at any Massachusetts college?
Now, the quote above might be inaccurate. I wasn’t able to easily find the law itself; a search for “mass.gov 1 Sec. 53-206″ turned up bupkis. “MA law 1 Sec. 53-206″ got me links from pepper spray, self-defense and blog sites, but nothing officially mass.gov.
And that’s the point. The good lawmakers of Massachusetts (apparently) passed this ridiculous regulation (which won’t be followed by thousands of students who like to be able to slice open a frickin’ cantaloupe), don’t make it easily available for research, and have no way of enforcing it.
The happy result? I’m forced to leave myself defenseless when I go a-campusing.
Thanks a lot, Massachusetts.







