Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Posts Tagged ‘Trials and Tribulations’

In which I am very glad that I keep a first aid kit in my car

Posted by Lissa on June 16, 2011

It’s a gorgeous summer day in Florida. The birds are singing. The sky is blue. I take my time strolling to the office mailbox, turning my face up to the sun. I close my eyes to savor the rays on my face, take a deep breath, and lower my head to keep walking.

Good thing, too. Because otherwise I wouldn’t have seen that lovely sun glinting off the Magnum wrapper in the parking lot.

(And no, I don’t mean the new ice cream treat with the horrible name. I mean the . . . Well, you all know damn well what I mean!!)

I think … I *believe* … that it was dropped and run over. That’s why there was a slit down the front and a bit of latex sticking out. My mind refuses to comprehend any other possibility.


So, yeah. If you don’t keep a full kit in your car with band-aids, gauze, tape, triple antibiotic, PLASTIC BAGS AND PAPER TOWELS AND GLOVES GLOVES GLOVES etc … You may want to. You never know what icky thing you’ll stumble upon.

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It is MOST DEFINITELY a Monday!!!!

Posted by Lissa on June 6, 2011

So I had a really fabulous weekend, and maybe I’ll post on that tomorrow, but first I have to whine.

Top Five Reasons Lissa is Whining Right Now (in chronological order)

5. Mike left this morning at five a.m.

4. Traffic was bad this morning

3. The power flickered this morning at work

2. The air conditioner at the office was on the fritz so I melted off my makeup.

And the number one reason Lissa is whining is …. *drumroll*

1. Due to the no-AC, we had all the doors at the office open for breeze. And in TEN MINUTES DURING THE STAFF MEETING, THIS HAPPENED:



I picked up a baker’s dozen of red, itchy, swollen welts and no one else suffered a single bite.

I hate mosquitos.

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Posted by Lissa on May 17, 2011

Every muscle in my body is in massive, screaming pain. I could study for my A&P Muscles test by tracing each individual path of agony through my limbs. Even my FINGERS AND FINGERNAILS hurt, for cryin’ out loud!!

Why? What did I do?

Well, I killed three birds with one stone:

1) I worked on my tan
2) I got some serious, SERIOUS exercise
3) I ripped out about twenty-five feet (and eight years’ worth) of matted, overgrown ivy and weeds.


See, there’s a boxed-in raised bed behind the lanai. I never really went back there, but vaguely assumed that it had the same type of bushes found in the front and along the sides. I promised myself that at some point I would ditch the bushes and replace it with happier stuff, and this weekend was the time.

Imagine my shock when I examined the bed and found nothing but WEEDS. Grasses. Ivy. Most of which had decently shallow roots . . . but those shallow roots were UP TO FIFTEEN F***CKING FEET IN LENGTH!! WTF?!?!?

So I slipped on my gardening gloves, grabbed the hedge clippers, a shovel and a trowel, and started ripping away.

By the time I was 90% done my hands were shaking so much that I dropped the small rose bush (in its pot) rather than gently lowering it. Oh, and it slashed both my lip and my hand as it fell.

Oh well. It was worth it — I’ve got (more) basil, and German thyme, and sweet mint, and spicy globe basil plants all situated. I took my two strawberry plants and my (really tall and healthy! Yay!!) rosemary plant and bedded those as well. I’ve already mentioned the small rosebush (red, of course!). And just for fun I sowed seeds for lettuce, alyssum, poppy and lupine. And hanging by my front door i’ve got some pink zinnias and a small aloe plant.

So — aching painful muscles, a kind of serious sunburn on my lower back, and a garden planted with pretty things and tasty herbs. I’ll take it!!

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So angry I’m in tears.

Posted by Lissa on May 13, 2011

And unfortunately, the only person I have to be mad at is myself.

One of my manilla files that I REMEMBER having yesterday went missing. I tore apart my desk, the stacks of file folders, two offices and another desk before starting to page through our file cabinets one by one.

You know where it was?

In the file cart where it was supposed to be. Only I guess when I put it back yesterday I put it BETWEEN two hanging file folders instead of IN a folder. So it had fallen to the bottom and was lying underneath all the other folders.

Ever been immensely relieved and simultaneously FURIOUS at yourself? In my case, it results in suppressed tears. YMMV.

Happy Friday, all.

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More grumbling about my psych professor

Posted by Lissa on April 13, 2011

Look.  I know it’s a community college.  I know she’s not getting paid as much as she wants.  I know that she has a daughter and probably lives a busy life.  I actually think she’s a nice person.  So, there’s that.


We had a current events assignment (due today).  I’m irritated at the assignment because we have to do twenty articles and I know DAMN well she’s not going to read more than three of them.  We have to do twenty so that it’s a “term-end” kind of assignment, and then she’ll grab a few at random and grade the project accordingly.  I hope she picks some good ones.  Whatever.

Here’s the irksome part — we have to submit it to turnitin.com before hard copy submission in class.

No, I don’t care about my work being checked for plagiarism; I’ve never plagiarized anything in my life, so I could care less about proving it.

What drove me batsh*t InSaNe was . . . I needed the class ID to create an account.

Now, you might think that since the turnitin.com requirement was written on the syllabus, she might have included the ID information there.


You might think it would be on the current events assignment sheet.


You might think she would send an email to the class with the ID information.

Oh, no!

Instead, she mentioned it *once* on March second.  I had to comb through pages and pages of handouts and notes and scribbles to find that I’d jotted it down at the end of one class when someone asked.


I hope she got about fifty emails between last night and this morning asking for the ID.  It would serve her right.

grrrrr . . . .  . .

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My gluteus maximus is being metaphorically whacked with metatarsals

Posted by Lissa on April 8, 2011

Otherwise known as “This stuff is kicking my ass!!”

Muscles. I thought I liked them. I’ve got a bunch of them and they let me lift heavy things and ambulate and shiver and stand upright and fun things like that. And I aced both my Bones exams, so I wasn’t fazed by the next chapter.

WRONG! There are just so MANY of the damn things! And they’re all layered together so you have to IMAGINE which ones go where!!


Test tomorrow and lab test next week. If I do well, perhaps I WON’T post the pic I snapped of the fetal pig in his formalin-soaked bag. *Blech*

Happy Friday!

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In which Mother Nature flips me off, then pees on my foot.

Posted by Lissa on March 31, 2011

I should know better. I really should.

So, yeah, that last post? Where I scolded Florida drivers for driving too slow in the rain? (And in response to my eminently reasonable commenters, I’ll note that we had had very heavy thunderstorms in the morning that faded to gentle rain in the afternoon.)

Mother Nature promptly replied, “Oh – oh you were finished? Well then, allow me to retort …”

Tornado warnings. Rain lashing my windshield so hard I dropped to 5 mph while entering the highway. Massive thunder and lightning. My drive this morning was TERRIFYING.

Karma is a BITCH!

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A quiet, genteel rant

Posted by Lissa on March 29, 2011

Dearest fellow travelers of I-4,

It was indeed raining during last night’s commute. Truly, I sympathize with your desire to drive more slowly and with an extra dollop of caution. Nay, I applaud such action!

But, darling commuters, must you really decrease your speed to 10 mph? Thou art not wilting flowers, loves. The clear glass thingy that you look out of is called a windshield, and it will protect your dainty locks from that nasty ol’ rain. You needn’t worry about your delicate toes, as there is also something called a floorboard — that’s the carpeted surface upon which your appendages rest — and it will shield your tender toes from the wicked wetness.

In short, beloved fellow drivers, kindly do not allow a little fall of rain to completely erode whatever little driving sense you possess.

With deepest affection,

P.S. you suck!

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Grumble, grumble, mumble and snarl.

Posted by Lissa on March 23, 2011

Student study, teacher quarrel.

Yeah, yeah, it’s no MacBeth … But aren’t you impressed I found ANYTHING to rhyme with snarl? 🙂

Anyway, the prof moved up the test to this week, rather than next week. Which conflicts with a work seminar that I can’t skip. Which means I’m going to start the test about an hour late and I’m going to miss the 30/40 minutes of Open Book testing. (In the first two tests I didn’t need more than that period to finish the test.) So now I’m cramming and memorizing. Grrrrrr …

(Oh, and when they talked about the fears and anxieties of middle childhood, they had a special box on counseling children during upheaval, war, terrorism etc. Guess what photo they used?)


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TIRED. So. Tired.

Posted by Lissa on February 23, 2011

*cue the siren of the Wahhhhhmmmbulance*

Ugh.  This is rather a tough week for Lissa.  I mean, I knew it would be an adjustment to go back to work full-time.  I expected the mid-afternoon fatigue. I’m learning to like the drive and honing my highway-rush-hour-skills.

But I’m exhausted. I drove home yesterday and threw together a hasty dinner (thank you, Crockpot, for making me delicious Mexican chicken!*), gobbled it down, unloaded the dishwasher and did the dishes, then spent just under three hours preparing for my Developmental Psychology test tonight. Meanwhile, I haven’t opened the box with the skeleton, my floors really need to be vacuumed, my bathroom is crying “Clean me!  Clean me!!” and I owe someone in MA a thank-you card.

I know, I know.  I want cheese with my whine!  But seriously — I *know* a lot of y’all are busier than I am.  I know that you’ve done what I’m doing, only with kids added into the mix.  Soooooo . . . any helpful tips, dear readers? Please?  How have you managed to organize/juggle all the things that you need done while not dying from lack of sleep???

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