Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Posts Tagged ‘BabyKitty2012’


Posted by Lissa on August 7, 2012

I woke this morning to a small rhythmic thumping on the left side of my ginormous belly.

It was too hard to be a heartbeat. It was too steady and regular to be another bout of kicking.

Yep, baby just had his first hiccups! And it was WEIRD.

I wasn’t kidding about my ginormous belly, by the way:


I’ve gained about twenty pounds and I still have ten weeks to go. Happily, the weight is pretty much confined to the baby bump; the rest of me looks about the same. Getting things off the floor is more difficult than I ever imagined, but the kicks and somersaults are marvelously enjoyable. it’s also pretty funny seeing my dress or nightgown twitch as he whacks me or flips around. He may be thirty weeks old but his head is already quite hard, it seems.

Baby says hello to all of you!!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

The breast-feeding bullies are at it again!

Posted by Lissa on July 31, 2012

OH FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. They’re locking up infant formula like it’s medicine. New Yorkers are bloody BRILLIANT, I tell you!

Under Latch On NYC, new mothers who want formula won’t be denied it, but hospitals will keep infant formula in out-of-the-way secure storerooms or in locked boxes like those used to dispense and track medications.
With each bottle a mother requests and receives, she’ll also get a talking-to. Staffers will explain why she should offer the breast instead.

I personally would not want to try to lecture a woman who has just pushed an infant out of her pelvis – I’ve heard that can be rather grueling – but then again I ALSO would not want to try to lecture other women about their infant diet choices in general. What a good thing the geniuses in Nanny Bloomberg’s administration are smarter than I am!

I particularly loved this part:

Lisa Paladino, of Staten Island University Hospital, said: “The key to getting more moms to breast-feed is making the formula less accessible. This way, the RN has to sign out the formula like any other medication. The nurse’s aide can’t just go grab another bottle.”

The key to getting more people to do what YOU think is best for them . . . is to take away their other options. Or at least make them more tedious, more difficult, and less convenient.

And don’t forget the lecture! Nanny-statism without a lecture is like spaghetti without meatballs!!

Then again, it could be worse. I’m surprised Nanny Bloomberg didn’t go the full Gisele Bundchen route. Shhhh, don’t give him ideas. . .

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 6 Comments »

Nothing like glucose in the morning!

Posted by Lissa on July 23, 2012

I’m starving, I can’t drink water and my mouth tastes like a mix of orange juice and turpentine. Hooray for glucose tests!


Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 4 Comments »

Pregnancy: No one told me it feels like being on a roller-coaster

Posted by Lissa on July 2, 2012

And I mean that LITERALLY, not figuratively!!

BabyKitty started moving several weeks ago. He was kicking hard enough that Mike could feel it on Father’s Day (good baby!). It’s wonderful and I love it . . . there’s a certain feeling of unreality about pregnancy — that there’s an actual live human being growing inside me — and every kick, every flutter, every shift of movement makes it more real.

And that was before he started turning somersaults. Or maybe practicing hip-throws or back handsprings.

When he kicks really strongly, or when he does a big motion shift, it LITERALLY feels like being on a roller-coaster. You know how your stomach DROPS as you go over a big fall? That’s what it feels like! My whole internal system LURCHES and then settles.

Good thing I love roller-coasters, no? 🙂

All in all, I am having a very normal, boring pregnancy.

Which is exactly what I wanted.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 1 Comment »

The weirdest pregnancy item I’ve seen so far

Posted by Lissa on June 14, 2012

Believe me, I’m proud and happy to be pregnant. And I’ve definitely got a baby belly now. But THIS?!?!?


I have no urge to make my baby bump a paint-by-numbers. If I ever do, y’all will be the first to know.

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Um . . . are you moving in there??

Posted by Lissa on June 7, 2012

Two baby-related posts in a row, which I’m trying to mostly avoid, but I don’t want to forget this, so here it is for posterity:

1) I think I’m starting to feel BabyKitty move

2) It feels WEIRD. VERY WEIRD.

I have a fairly gurgle-y abdomen, so it’s very possible he’s been moving for a long time and I just haven’t classified it. But now I’m starting to feel occasional — twinges. Like something poking me from the inside. Sometimes I think it’s a stomach rumble, and then sometimes I think it’s a foot or an elbow. (Hey, kid — if you’re going to be a soccer player, you need to avoid high-foot’s and thrown elbows!)

I’m usually busy enough during the day that it doesn’t cross my mind. It’s only when I lie in bed reading before sleep … or when Rajah wakes us up yowling at three AM, which is SO. UNNECESSARY. YOU. NAUGHTY. CAT. … that I try to classify the twinges and gurgles coming from the belly.

Oh, and it is now officially a belly. I’ve gained about ten pounds and my tummy is starting to try to pull my spine forward. I’m trying to be very good about posture and keeping my spine straight, but you kind of have to engage your abdominal muscles to do that and they’re all stretched out of whack.

Halfway there, halfway to go. Is it October yet???

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 2 Comments »

Manifesto of a n00b parent

Posted by Lissa on June 6, 2012

Since this is our first kid, I’m going to pretend I didn’t grow up with baby brothers and don’t read Stuff My Kids Ruined and hereby declare…

MY CHILD will never throw a tantrum in the cereal aisle.

MY CHILD will never tell adult relatives that they look fat or otherwise unkempt.

MY CHILD will NEVER finger-paint using excrements from his own body.

MY CHILD will never find the Sharpie that I’ve put under lock and key and proceed to decorate the off-white suede Lazyboy, the doors, or himself.

MY CHILD will never manage to find an unattended pile of dog droppings and treat it like Play-doh.

MY CHILD will nicely eat everything I put in front of him, including vegetables.

MY CHILD will never throw a delicate object to the floor just because it makes a pretty sound when it smashes.

MY CHILD will never find a pair of scissors and try to trim the cat, his own hair, or Mommy’s hair during a nap.

MY CHILD will never throw up during a long car trip, an airplane flight or any other inconvenient time/place. Or on me or his father.

MY CHILD will listen and remember to every sage piece of advice I give him while conveniently forgetting any and all curse words that slip out around him.

MY CHILD will never have gas JUST as I’m changing his diaper such that the walls, um, *get decorated*.

MY CHILD will never wait until Mommy has just sat down, started eating, or gone to sleep to throw an epic fit.

MY CHILD will never decide that insects and spiders look like wonderful things to put into his mouth.

MY CHILD will never make such an awe-inspiring mess that, just for a second, I consider moving rather than cleaning it up.

And finally . . . MY CHILD will never make my heart ache with so much love and pain that I’m amazed such a tiny being can affect my entire soul. ….. Actually, I’m pretty sure that is an “always”, not a “never” 🙂

While I’m making the list, what other things do you think MY CHILD will never or always do?

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 6 Comments »

It’s a ….

Posted by Lissa on May 29, 2012


ME: “So, how often does it happen that it’s a mistake? I mean, my dad was told his third kid was a boy but it turned out to be a girl. Are we sure now, or is it still iffy?”

TECHNICIAN (DECISIVELY): “It’s a boy.” Nods firmly. Looks wryly at me. “Unless your daughter has testicles. AND a penis.”

ME: “Alrighty then!”

We’ve got a son incubating!!

P.S. total weight gain at this, the halfway point, is perhaps eight pounds, but it’s ALL in my belly. There is definitely a lil’ human growing there 🙂

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 8 Comments »

Boy or girl?

Posted by Lissa on May 25, 2012

Sitting in the doc’s office waiting for an ultrasound. Will we be buying blue or pink?? …

Red, actually. Of course. Baby Red Sox fan, y’all!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: | 3 Comments »

Why the breast-feeding magazine cover didn’t bother me

Posted by Lissa on May 16, 2012

I mean, I think it’s a horrible thing to do to the poor kid – he’s definitely gonna get his ass whupped on the playground for the rest of his LIFE, and he’s hardly old enough to consent to that – but I wasn’t shocked.


Well, because I’d already read all about it.

I’m a new parent! I have to do research! I need to read about horrible, creepy things that crazy people do to their kids so that I don’t do them!

(Okay, whether I’d read about it or not, I would horsewhip anyone who tried to teach my little toddler girl (if it’s a girl) to pole dance. That wasn’t ever in doubt.)

And if anyone ever tried “baby yoga” with BabyKitty I’d consider it attempted murder.

In conclusion: What the HELL is wrong with these people?!?!

Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »