Posted by Lissa on September 12, 2012
Mike and I went to a six-hour childbirth class on Saturday. It was . . . interesting.
– There was a lot of good information
– They went into detail about natural versus medicated childbirth and the levels of pain medication available
– They also detailed the run-up to labor (which, I hope, will allow me to avoid having my water break in a grocery store or – horrors!! – the office of Sunshine Financial)
– They showed a lot of clips of babies being born – and no one passed out!
– They were noticeably biased towards non-medicated childbirth. (Mike pointed out that calling it “natural childbirth” is pretty funny considering that only about 10% of women do it.)
– There was a definite anti-men slant.
I really wished there had been one mother-daughter team or a lesbian couple in our class. The anti-men bias was stupid because it was so UNNECESSARY! The teacher would sternly point her finger and . . . . well, here’s how she said it, and here’s how I would have phrased it:
Misandrous Midwife: “Now, coaches, she may want you to talk to her, in which case, TALK! Or she may just look at you and” (slashes hand across throat) “in which case SHUT UP. She may tell the whole room that you HAVEN’T SET UP THE CRIB YET! Or HOW MANY TIMES SHE HAD TO TAKE THE GARBAGE OUT TO THE CURB! Men, DO NOT SAY ANYTHING! KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!”
Hypothetical Instructor Lissa: “Guys, your women are going to be in a lot of pain. Make sure you are very attentive to their needs. If they want distraction, have a story ready and be ready to chat. If she waves you off, keep it quiet for a while – she’s trying to concentrate. She may also say some things that she may later regret – if she remembers them – which she normally wouldn’t. Don’t take it personally and just keep rolling with the punches.”
Both versions get across the same information, but in MY version you don’t have to be a dick about it.
Also, they took the guys aside and made them practice changing diapers and putting a shirt on baby dolls. Twice.
Are women magically born knowing how to change diapers? Don’t you think it’s both sexist and stupid to make ONLY the guys practice that?
Oh well. Five weeks to go!!!