Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

There oughta be a law!!!!

Posted by Lissa on May 11, 2011

I was driving home yesterday and closing in on my exit when I notice that the car in front of me was … a wee bit wobbly. It gently swayed from one side of the lane to the next, touching the left and right lane markets with loving and regular attention.

I gave him a fair bit of space, ready at any point to dodge around an accident, then gunned it to pass him and exit the highway. As I did so, I curiously glanced over to see what the hell his problem was. Eating and driving? Cell phone? Map? Hooker giving him road head?

Cell phone? Oh yes. He was holding it to his ear with his right hand and driving with his left hand. Unfortunately, his left and was also holding an EXCEL SPREADSHEET propped against the wheel, which he referenced frequently as he drove.


I call for an immediate law banning Excel spreadsheets in cars!

P.S. I happen to think that driving like a stupid d-bag is a bad idea. But I also think that one should ticket the result — swerving in an out of lane lines, driving recklessly, etc. — rather than the cause. Some people can talk on the phone, listen to the radio and check their directions while driving safetly. Some people CAN’T. To ban each myriad little doohickey or action that may or may not cause the driver to behave in an unsafe manner multiplies the stupid laws we have on the books for no reason.

3 Responses to “There oughta be a law!!!!”

  1. Dave said

    I agree with you 100%. I live in a state that has banned talking on a cell phone without using a hands free device and of course then they went after texting. Funny thing is distracted driving is already an offence! Does that make it more illegal?

  2. Ian Argent said

    From your mouth to god’s ears

  3. I passed a woman last week with a BOOK clothes-pinned to her effing steering wheel. Not even an e-reader, an actual effing book. On a freeway. The speed limit is 65.

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