Oh, c’mon now. Y’all are making me defend KOBE BRYANT?

We’re from Boston, hometown to the Basketball Jesus.  And you’re making me defend a LAKER?  Who is also quite possibly a RAPIST and certainly an ADULTERER?

Sigh.  I hate you, World.  Alrighty, here we go.

Did y’all see this commercial?

I re-watched this over the weekend because Mike made a reference to Kobe’s nickname: Black Mamba.  (Thank you, Sports Guy, for letting me have even the weakest grasp on this stuff.)  If you watch carefully during the video you can see that he’s labeled his weapon with the word “MAMBA”.

And then I thought about it, and I googled it, and sure enough — folks called it “distasteful” and criticized him for looking “all smiling and happy.”

You should see ME after firing a REAL gun 😉

So, as is my wont, let’s get the disclaimers out of the way, shall we?

– I hate 3D video games.  They give me headaches and I can’t work the controls and they suck rabbit ass.

– I have never played Call of Duty (see above) and likely never will.  There are books to read and cats to pet, you know.

– Combat soldiers have hard, dirty, gritty, tough, dangerous jobs.  Video games are the opposite of that.

Okay?  Onwards!

I love this commercial.  I love the soundtrack, I love the cinematography, and the fry cook at the end* makes me LOL.  (Literally.  Not internet-speak, but actually bust out in audible giggles.)

I love it because it parallels the very best of the gunnie community: how people of all different ages, ethnicities, genders, vocations and (sometimes) political leanings can get together and have a great time.

You know what I saw the last time I went to the range?

1. A group of Caucasian-ish youngsters (says the old codger) sharing two lanes and two guns.  There were perhaps three guys and two girls and much giggling and rah-rah-ing (along with safe conduct).

2. A pair of my-age-ish black men shooting side-by-side.

3. What looked to be a father and his high-school-ish-aged son sharing a lane and taking turns.

4. What looked to be a 50s-ish husband and a wife sharing a lane and a revolver.

5. A guy who looked to be about sixty,  in a wheelchair, with another guy who might have been his son helping him set up and sharing their . . . um . . . Glock, I think.

6. A mixed-race hyperspastic pixie shooting next to a guy with fabulous green eyes.

And that’s what I loved about the commercial.  It had a beautiful young woman wearing stilettos (I liked her suit); a girl with glasses who was not skinny, working as a team with an obvious hippie wearing Birkenstocks and a dude in surgical scrubs; a guy wearing a construction hat; a guy wearing khakis, a blue short-sleeved shirt and what looks like a Blackberry; a balding guy wearing a three-piece suit (who answers the phone “Concierge”!!!!); Kobe Bryant; another balding guy wearing a tie; a guy in a football jersey, jeans and sneakers; a guy wearing a polo shirt who has “SSG TRAN” on his gun; Jimmy Kimmel (“PROUD N00B”); and the most awesomest closing character that I mentioned.

Oh yeah, and we’ve got multiple ages, multiple skin colors and multiple genders.

Centerfire is a language that crosses all boundaries . . .

So. Yeah. I really enjoyed the commercial, I thought it was well done, and I think it’s stupid to be upset at a multi-million dollar athlete taking what was probably hefty fee to advertise a game that he seems to like in what was clearly a video-game setting.

That is all.

*P.S. Do not ever fire two guns at once.  Really do not ever fire two guns at once while looking in a direction that neither of your guns is pointing.  KTHXBYE.

P.P.S. Guess that wasn’t all, was it?  Well, as long as I’m still writing, please remember there’s no scientific link between violent video games and actual violence.

UPDATE: Borepatch links. Thanks! (And you should totally click that link ’cause his description of the commercial is Most Wondrous!)