Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.


Posted by Lissa on December 10, 2010

Don’t these silly creatures know that I’m higher on the food chain? That I eat poultry at least once a week? That I’m bigger and stronger than they are? That I have opposable thumbs and training with weapons?


I took this pic during my cooldown a few days ago.  I used my iPhone with no zoom — that should give you an idea how close they were.  These enormous walking pigeons wander around our neighborhood and have absolutely no fear, or respect, for large man-like or man-made objects.  It’s not unusual to come across a line of stopped cars, waiting impatiently for them to finish their leisurely crossing of the road.  Meanwhile, I’m angrily mumbling “Just hit them, already!  Nudge them with your bumper! You’re bigger than they are!” to myself, five cars back.

I console myself that, come the Zombie Apocalypse, we could bag ourselves a few meals by driving around and hanging out the windows with a baseball bat.

What’s that you say?

Shaddup, you.  I can buy you in the grocery store.

*sigh*  Respect is so hard to come by nowadays.

(We saw the ostriches during the Animal Kingdom safari, also iPhone with no zoom.  I was careful not to hang out the window, lest they make a grab for the camera – they were that close!  Damn giant turkeys need a lesson with birdshot . . .)

13 Responses to “Birdbrains!!”

  1. Bills@AandVElectric.com said

    Understamd that those big winged rats taste really fishy! Lesson learned in my misspent youth!

  2. Linoge said

    …we could bag ourselves a few meals by driving around and hanging out the windows with a baseball bat.

    Now that is a mental image!

  3. Peter said

    Yes, ostrich is delicious. It’s completely fat- and cholesterol-free, one of the healthiest meats you can buy, and it’s red like beef. Absolutely delicious! I lived for several years in Oudtshoorn, South Africa, heart of the world ostrich industry, and one could buy ostrich meat in town more cheaply than steak. I used to cook it regularly.

    (Oh, yes – why do they call it an ostrich? Well, have you seen the size of the eggs it lays? That’s a stretch for anyone’s oss! 🙂 )

  4. Butch Cassidy said

    I’d go for number three or four buckshot myself.

    At least here in the North Country, I only have to stop for the little turkeys.

  5. MaddMedic said

    As for the Ostriches I am thinking birdshot may just piss them off…..at least turkey loads!!!

  6. wrm said

    Aahhhstriches have some mean claws on ’em. And yea, birdshot will work at that range, but for longer range I’d go with a rifle.

    Meat useta be cheap, all they could do was feed it to the crocs (meat = byproduct of leather industry). Then they discovered the export market, now we only get cheap ostrich when something goes wrong and you guys ban imports.

    Aaah, the days of half an ostrich neck in a black pot on the coals…

  7. AD shared a story of a dual fatality Ostrich attack in his neck. Thing took 2 .40 rounds and just got pissed off. The #00 bedded him down.

    They scare me. The Cranes, not so much, and I want an Emu!

  8. Lissa said

    Peter, I read that out loud to my husband and giggled.

    Linoge and MaddMedic, I never did that, so here’s my chance!

    Butch Cassidy, I actually need to get a shotgun first . . .

    wrm, I’ll take your word for it 🙂

    And Weer’d, wow. Adding “ostriches” to the goblin list 🙂

  9. mike w. said

    Is it sick that I’m picturing those things running around with their heads cut off?…

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