Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.


Posted by Lissa on September 28, 2010

Since Mike’s folks live in Florida, I’ve visited there — oh, at least five or six times during the last decade.  And, to date, I had NEVER SEEN A FLORIDA GATOR.  I developed a very annoying habit of peering eagerly into every body of water we passed — be it pond, lake, river, or large puddle — while hopefully piping, “Gator??”

Well, dammit, I finally saw my gators!!!

They had a little alligator near the front just for me:

We were treated to an exhibition of alligator wrestling:

We got two packets of hot dogs to throw to the gators. And then proceeded to nail them DIRECTLY IN THE HEAD and they STILL wouldn’t get them. The big white birds standing on them as they floated around were MUCH quicker, more agile and more likely to eat the damn dogs than the gators were. I was heckling and yelling, “C’mon, gators! You’re at the top of the frickin’ food chain! Don’t let those birds steal your food, EAT THE BIRD!!!”

(We later closed the Circle of Life by eating Alligator Nuggets at the cafe. They tasted like overcooked chicken nuggets that had been misted with tuna water.)

Oh, and the birds were insanely fearless:

(As befits birds that live with alligators.)

We cheered and hollered “Jump!!” as instructed during the Gator Jumping show:

Naturally, we had to stop at the petting zoo, where we fed pellets to some VERY. DETERMINED. GOATS.

Two thumbs up for Gatorland, where Lissa finally got her full quota of gators!

P.S. Oh, almost forgot — as promised:

9 Responses to “Gatorland!!!”

  1. Brad K. said

    I apologize. I read that first paragraph – but mistook the “peering eagerly”. I read “pee” for “peer”. It sounded strange, and I wondered how you connected that with finding an alligator. Then I re-read that sentence and found my mistake.

    Please forgive me for just accepting that you were wading out into each body of water and, um, “blessing” the stream, hoping for a glimpse of alligator. I will try to not let it happen again.

  2. Not to worry, since you now live in the area, chances are you will eventually encounter a gator somewhere you don’t expect. Back when I worked for a beer distributor we had a big one try to push itself through the glass front doors. The secretary was freaking. It eventually moved on when it couldn’t get in. Another time, I was driving out to a friend’s house in Geneva (small town north-east of Orlando) and found the road blocked by a HUGE gator laying across the road to warm itself (it was blocking both lanes of the two lane highway). I wasn’t sure what to do unil a truck coming the other way stopped, then drove up to it very slowly and it decided it wasn’t bigger than the truck and moved out of the way.

    I have also had various friends who live by lakes or ponds that have had them up in their yards. Those were mostly small ones though and weren’t much of a threat. Just don’t let your small dog too near them, the old Florida crackers used to use small dogs as bait when Gator hunting because the yap yap yap barking would draw them in.


  3. Lissa said

    Brad, I’m sure I should be offended or something, but I’m laughing too hard to figure it out!

    Stuart, that is reason #593,608 why Rajah will NEVER be allowed outside, lest Darwin claim him.

  4. Man Gatorland still looks good even after the big fire!

    Looks the same as it did when I was about 7. Mayhapse I need to go back there.

  5. Hello! First time stopping by (that somehow sounds like the opening line of a spam post…). I used to live in Orlando, so I had the chance to go a couple of times. I see the gator nuggets have not improved. Oh well.

    Welcome to the Mosquito, errr… Sunshine State!

  6. Lissa said

    Weer’d, come on down and visit!

    Lawyer with a Gun, thanks! What caliber for mosquitos?

  7. Tennessee Budd said

    All goats are determined. Not very bright, but determined. I have to keep pegging them in the ass with BBs to keep ’em off my tomatoes, & they keep coming back.

  8. Brad_in_MA said


    I grew up near Fort Lauderdale right on the edge of the ‘glades. Trust me when I say you need AT LEAST a 20mm Oerlikon for the skeeters. But you need to really worry more about the palmetto bugs. Imagine a swarm of bugs resembling 3 inch long roaches which fly. For that there’s only one solution . . . CWIS.

    – Brad

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: