lookingforlissa

Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Really? I’m supposed to look like THIS?

Posted by Lissa on March 4, 2010

Seriously?  THIS is what’s considered fashionable for young women nowadays?

Damn, this is gonna take work!  The following items are now on my to-do list:

  1. Lose eighty pounds.
  2. Contract tuberculosis.
  3. You know what?  The tuberculosis would probably help me lose eighty pounds.  I’ll do that first.
  4. Flat iron hair, then smear with Crisco.
  5. Kill, butcher and tan the hide of a shih tsu to provide bangs.
  6. Get hands on large brown silk sack.  Insert elastic to hold neckline above breasts, cut off and form knee-length trousers, add small bow with desperate hope it will provide a redeeming feature.
  7. Take lovely black leather boots and butcher them.  Cut them off at the ankle, cut a peep-toe and cut a Nike swoosh into the side.
  8. Paint a look of surprised despair on my face.  Like I just got goosed by a nasty boss and am not allowed to say anything about it.

You know what?  On further thought, I believe I’ll just stay unfashionable.

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7 Responses to “Really? I’m supposed to look like THIS?”

  1. Brad_in_MA said

    Lissa,

    This is the perfect segue into a rant on the difference between fashion and style. Sounds to my like you’re dripping in style. Not to mention class. Keep up the good work.

    – Brad

  2. This is news? Zombies have been _in_ for like, seven years now. You’ve gotta keep up on the trends! 😉

  3. Brad K. said

    Go back in time, review a fashion model called “Twiggy” (I am not making this up). Also, investigate a pop phenomenon called “Farrah Fawcett Bad Hair Day”.

    This image – properly painted on a chunk ‘a cement, not on anyone I respect – is a display of “conspicuous consumption”. A meaningless display of discretionary income, generally wasteful of resources, generally proof that whoever paid for the attentions of the sycophant and the attire has more cash than responsibilities.

    You might image the look on this soul’s face, dressed in this fashion, trotting down to the grocery store in Broad Ripple – in early March. Imagine those open toes in 6 inches of fresh, wet snow. Or halfway through weeding the carrots in a garden.

    Lose the makeup and shoes, though, and the hair dressing, and it might be just fine for a trip to the beach. At least, no on the way home when you are too pooped to pop.

    (Gads, I don’t recall ever using that phrase of my Grandmother’s before.)

  4. I was looking at that…thing…this morning on the subway. She is definitely a homely-ass girl, and I want no part in what she’s selling. I prefer my women…pretty!

    And on the other side:

    I keep seeing this deformed, fashion-challenged asshole who appears to have been left in the dryer too long plastered EVERYWHERE. Are there women attracted to this bag of smashed assholes?

    **yack**

  5. ZerCool said

    Lissa dear … please don’t look like that. Some of us fellas like our women to look like … you know … women. Like you do. *nod*

  6. Mike w said

    Gross

  7. Mike P said

    Very well said. Women have so much pressure to look like things that a lot of guys don’t care about anyway!

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