Really? I’m supposed to look like THIS?
Posted by Lissa on March 4, 2010
Seriously? THIS is what’s considered fashionable for young women nowadays?
Damn, this is gonna take work! The following items are now on my to-do list:
- Lose eighty pounds.
- Contract tuberculosis.
- You know what? The tuberculosis would probably help me lose eighty pounds. I’ll do that first.
- Flat iron hair, then smear with Crisco.
- Kill, butcher and tan the hide of a shih tsu to provide bangs.
- Get hands on large brown silk sack. Insert elastic to hold neckline above breasts, cut off and form knee-length trousers, add small bow with desperate hope it will provide a redeeming feature.
- Take lovely black leather boots and butcher them. Cut them off at the ankle, cut a peep-toe and cut a Nike swoosh into the side.
- Paint a look of surprised despair on my face. Like I just got goosed by a nasty boss and am not allowed to say anything about it.
You know what? On further thought, I believe I’ll just stay unfashionable.