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Movie Review: Zombieland

Posted by Lissa on February 16, 2010

Short review: Gross but funny!

Longer review: No, seriously, the special effects part of this movie were GROSS.  Gross enough that I looked at the chili I was about to heat up for dinner, and looked at the screen, and asked Mike to kill the movie and put on a TV show until we were done eating.  That gross.  Slobbering-blood-and-gnawing-tendons gross.

Whoever thought up and executed this movie had a pretty wacky sense of humor.  It was enjoyable . . . but have I mentioned I’m a scary movie wuss? Complete and utter wimp when it comes to anything creepy or crawly or blood-and-guts-y.  The Shining makes me keep lights on at night for weeks.  Ditto The Sixth Sense. (It’s been long enough that I can watch Sixth Sense and still be functional, but I’m ONLY allowed to watch it in the daylight.  Same goes for Sin City.)

So, when I popped awake at 3 AM, the first thing I did was frantically check Mike’s mouth for signs of blood.  (Thank you Lasik!)  Seeing as how he was not drooling nasty bodily fluids, I assured myself he was still human, movies were only movies and I was a childish moron, and closed my eyes.

I did the same at 3:03.

And again at 3:05.

And again at 3:08.

You get the picture.

It took me until 4 AM until I was brave enough to get out of bed and go use the litter box.

Thank God Mike is a sound sleeper.  Because if he’d rolled over and gnarled at me, I swear I would have screamed.

And possibly elbowed him in the face.

I would not have used any deadlier force than that, because I’m not that stupid.

Only a wuss.

So — funny movie, don’t plan on eating chili while watching it, and check your loved ones for blood during the night as necessary.

Happy Tuesday!

5 Responses to “Movie Review: Zombieland”

  1. After seeing Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, my friends all said that they now KNOW exactly what I would be like if the Zombie apocolypse ever came. Well… Ok, I’m pretty sure that’s a complement coming from my weirdo friends. I think I would be a little more social though, like looking to start a “colony” of sorts where those un-infected people that I might find could dig in and protect eachother and survive.

    Because of the movie, I did decide that I need to add a ball gag to the Zombie Apocolypse prepairdness kit though. Just in case I came across anyone who might or might not be infected. You know, ball gag, duct tape…. if they don’t zombie out in like a day or two they probably aren’t infected after all. If they do, hello… ballgag = no biting.


    disclaimer: No, I’m not one of those weirdos who actually think Zombie Apocolypse is a possibility. The thing is, If you are prepaired for Zombie Apocolypse, you are prepaired for ANYTHING. And prepairing for Zombie Apocolypse is more fun than prepairing for hurricanes, tornados, civil unrest etc. So why not make prepping fun? I mean, if your gonna prep anyway.

  2. Joe Allen said

    To sum up Stuart’s post in a tag line:

    “Ball gags: they make preparedness fun!”

    Can’t argue with that logic.

  3. Oldwindways said

    My girlfriend had the same reaction when we watched it, the opening sequence grossed her out pretty badly, but she still ended up enjoying the movie. I’m an awfully sound sleeper, so I can not confirm or deny any middle of the night zombie checks she may have performed.

  4. Jon said

    I get the feeling that the writers of this movie have spent a lot of time playing Left4Dead…

  5. wolfwalker said

    Personally, I’ve never understood the allure of horror movies. Even campy horror movies. I watch movies and TV for entertainment, not new nightmare material.

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