NOT A NETI!!
Posted by Lissa on October 14, 2009
Despite what you might think, this –
is not actually a torture device.
No, you buy it on purpose and voluntarily pour water up your nose.
If you’re insane. Which apparently I am.
For those who aren’t familiar with it, the blue rubber instrument of pain up there is a neti pot, and you use it to pour water up one nostril and have it come out the other one. No, you do not do this in lieu of saying the fifteen rosaries the Father assigned you for penance, or because you let the dog get into your wife’s shoe closet and he picked a pair of Christian Louboutin’s for his next chew toy. You do this to wash ucky stuff out of your sinuses.
(Of course, the water you’re using to wash the ucky stuff out will, itself, be left behind as an ucky substance. You feel quite waterlogged afterwards.)
I tend to get head colds a few times a year. I can often fight off the worst of it by chugging tea-with-honey, gargling with salt water and religious use of Dayquil/Nyquil. Often . . . but not always. A few of my friends SWEAR by that-there neti contraption, so I gave it a try.
PANIC. Utter panic the first time water started flowing up my nose TO DROWN MY BRAIN. It didn’t even gross me out; I was too busy hyperventilating while sternly reminding myself that I was NOT in fact drowning. It feels like water filling up your ears, mixed with that-time-you-got-pulled-under-by-the-riptide-at-the-beach-and-thought-you’d-drown. It’s horrible.
I can’t say I noticed any great sinus improvement, either, but I’ll keep trying for a little while. A week, maybe.
And if there’s no improvement, I’ll just move up to shoving bamboo splinters underneath my fingernails.