Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Socialism, explained with iTunes

Posted by Lissa on August 6, 2009

A Fictional Conversation

Evil Conservative Lissa:  Give me some of your iTunes.

Liberal Lissa: Huh?

ECL:  Your songs.  Give me half.

LL: Why the hell would I do that?

ECL:  Well, I don’t have any songs, and you have over a thousand.  I therefore demand that you give me half.  Or at least a third of them.  That’s a reasonable tax rate, right?

LL:  Buy your own damn songs, why don’t you?  You’re not starving in the streets, you have money to buy shoes, so you obviously have money enough to buy your own songs.

ECL:  That’s not the POINT.  You have lots of songs.  I have none.  Therefore I have a right to take some of yours.

LL:   That doesn’t make even a little bit of sense.

ECL:  It doesn’t? Then why does it make sense to keep taxing the top 1% of taxpayers?  Even though they pay more than the BOTTOM 95%?

LL:  That’s different.  No one needs more than a couple million dollars, and there are hungry people that need food.

ECL: Well, surely no one NEEDS more than five hundred iTunes, and there are bored people who need music.  Like me.  We have proved that you have over a thousand, and that I have zero.  Why are you being so selfish and greedy-capitalist-piggish as to refuse to give me half?

LL:  Um . . . because you’re a racist?

ECL:  Right-o.


Charity is the idea that you will give me some iTunes because you’re nice or you feel it’s your duty or you have a gracious plenty or whatever.  Socialism is the idea that I have a RIGHT to take them from you, whether you like it or not.

Big difference.


6 Responses to “Socialism, explained with iTunes”

  1. scotaku said

    Otherwise known as, “In order for me to have everything I want, you’re going to have to give up some things.” I hear that a lot from my kids and my various governments. w00t.

  2. MeatAxe said

    Michelle Obam (and doubtless her husband and his ilk) wants your pie.

    “The truth is, in order to get things like universal health care and a revamped education system, then someone is going to have to give up a piece of their pie so that someone else can have more.”


  3. secretlivesofscientists said

    ECL, don’t you know that liberals don’t like being called greedy capitalists?

    They also don’t like being called fascists. Apparently, it rubs them the wrong way.

  4. Borepatch said

    Maybe you’re not racist. Sexist, perhaps?

  5. Minnie said

    I love it. Thanks for the laugh. When my kiddos asked if they were democrats or republicans (which is a whole different issue and the reason we changed schools) I laid it out there this way.

    You’re in college. A college that Daddy and I have worked hard to save money to be certain you attend. You’re roommate is on a scholarsip. You have an A average, your Roomie, a C. To stay in school, Roomie needs a B.

    Why don’t you go talk to the dean and give Roomie some of your A so that you both have a B.

    Kidlet’s response: “No way, Man. I worked for that A.”

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