I can’t believe this qualifies as food
Posted by Lissa on July 27, 2009
The weight-loss section of Shaw’s is located across the aisle from body wash. I think they may have misplaced this item, because damn sure I’d rather rub it on my feet than put this in my mouth:
That’s right, it’s Calorie-Free Whipped Peanut Spread! Doesn’t that sound just delicious? Let’s take a gander at the ingredients!
Water, cellulose gum, salt, cornstarch, xanthum gum. Mmmmm.
When speaking of his favorite foods, my father likes to say, “If you put a piece on top of your head, your tongue would beat your brain to death trying to get it.”
I’m fairly sure my tongue ripped itself free from its moorings, picked up its skirts and dashed down the street screaming in horror.
And you know, I can’t really blame it. Self-preservation, y’all.
(I’m not a fan of mayo so the no-cal version on the left doesn’t bother me; YMMV.)
UPDATE: Mike: “So basically, it’s terrible, but it would still kill someone with peanut allergies. That is its only purpose.”