Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

A note from Miss Manners

Posted by Lissa on June 18, 2009

Dear Small, Dark, Surly-looking Female Co-worker,

You do not look like you were born yesterday.  I have checked your history in our company phonebook and you have been working here for a not-insignificant amount of time.

I therefore find myself baffled that you have not yet mastered the rules of common courtesy.  As a public service, I shall attempt to instruct you on the very basics:

1) When men hold open doors for you, it’s nice to say thank you.  Ye Olde Financial Company has somewhat Southern-flavored manners and most men consider it appropriate to hold open the door you are approaching, even if causes them to miss the elevator.  A small acknowledgement of their courtesy would be polite.

2) When women hold open doors for you, it’s nice to say thank you.  We will hold the door for you as a manner of professional courtesy, even though you have NEVER ONCE muttered any token of appreciation.  While we may not feel the same chivalrous impulse as the males, our mommas taught us that allowing a door to slam in someone’s face is the height of rudeness. 

3) Apparently your momma did not teach you that.  Consider yourself schooled, madame.

Miss Manners, meanwhile, will strictly adhere to her upbringing.  She will be polite.  She will be courteous.  She will NOT allow doors to slam shut on your prissy, hostile, sullen, ungracious face, despite unworthy demons urging her to do so.

At least, I hope not.  My mother would NOT approve.

Most sincerely yours,

Miss Manners


2 Responses to “A note from Miss Manners”

  1. Brad K. said

    Well, isn’t this a happy day! Just think if Miss Manners were to feel irritated or sarcastic about someone’s apparent faux pas.

    Why, she could have purchased a copy of Julie Brown’s “‘Cause I’m Blonde” and left it for the arrant (arrogant?) one.

    I note just in passing, that blue-blood royalty masters don’t owe common courtesies to peons and serfs, when receiving the homage that is their due. Perhaps Miss Manners might re-think her place in the hierarchy of Those that Are Important.

    On the other hand, I am reminded of the aphorism that an armed society is a polite society. Perhaps a few verbal projectiles might be in order, such as a “You are quite welcome!”, spoken over-loudly, when an expected “Thanks!” is omitted. Spoken with a smile, this type of not-quite-reprimand can express anything for disdain for lack of manners and common courtesy, to making an obvious (though not-quite-polite) allowance for another’s disability or handicap. In this case, possibly hearing is impaired, or a recent stroke has hindered the silent one’s ability to recognize courtesy and social intercourse.

    Or the lady is rude as a rutabaga, and about half as bright.

  2. Jay.Mac said

    Absolutely, a very loud “you’re welcome” does wonders with those rude souls who lack even the most basic social graces.

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