lookingforlissa

Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

The devil we knew . . . (BONUS: Kitty video!)

Posted by Lissa on June 1, 2009

. . . was better than the one we didn’t.

Until recently, the Kitty Den was run by Pretty Good Management, Inc., and its main face was the woman who worked the office.  Petite, blond and perky, we quickly christened her Rental Barbie for her spunky personality, her gushing friendliness, and her absolute inability to do any math problem more complicated than 2 + 2 = 4.  (I can’t tell you how many times we had to rework the fee schedule for the apartment, but I could probably count the fist-marks in the wall behind our desk to figure it out.)  We didn’t dislike her, but we were occasionally quite frustrated with her penchant for arriving late and leaving early; if she left before we got home we couldn’t get our packages.  WANT PACKAGES!      

Anyway, Pretty Good Management, Inc. was let go rather abruptly – at least as far as they notified us – and they’ve now hired Other Management Company, LLC.  We were quite hopeful that the new office guru would, y’know, actually show up on time and stay till six.  

Verily, how bitter is the dashing of hopes.

Rental Ice Queen (Rental IQ, for short) is not Rental Barbie.  That is, she is not spunky, she is not friendly, and she most certainly does not gush.  Her modus operandi is instead to act as if she is constantly doing us favors by answering the bloody phone.  Oh, and staying until six?  Forget it – they’ve cut back office hours till five PM.  Seeing as how neither Mike nor I get home till 5:45, we politely inquired how to get our grubby little paws on our packages. 

Oh, we’ll have them delivered to your apartment just inside the door, no problem.

Uh-huh. 

Version 2: Oh, we’ll have them delivered to your apartment just inside the door,  no problem.  Unless there are a lot or they’re heavy, in which case we’ll tell the maintenance guy to call you for assistance after the office closes.  He won’t call you, of course, and then we’ll act like you’re being ridiculously demanding and unreasonable when you call us the next day and ask for your sh*t.

Ri-ight.

Version 3: Oh, we’ll have them delivered to your apartment just inside the door, no problem, assuming that you call us in the office and specifically ask us to deliver them to your apartment.  Never mind that we know you never get home before five, or that we previously promised a standard operating procedure of apartment delivery.  And you can’t leave instructions in advance.  Nope, we’ll just stick a package key in your mailbox so when you get home you’ll know that a package was delivered.  And that you can’t have it till tomorrow.  If you’re lucky.  Bite me, suckas!  Nyah-nyah!!

That b*tch Rental IQ!

Sigh.  Version 4:  And by the way, we don’t like to answer our phone.  So good luck with that.

I swear, if I didn’t have an adorable kitten with which to distract myself, I’d be pissed or something.

P.S.  The experienced kitten-baiter will always clip the subject’s claws before attempting a stunt like this.  Also, she will wear pants of some thick material such as denim.  And red toe nails are ALWAYS a good idea.

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