Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Because the Intrawebz are FOREVER

Posted by Lissa on April 2, 2009

And because I’m too damn lazy right now to write out a real In-the-event-of-my-death document.  And because I stumbled across Matt’s recitation and figured, why not?

(And because Jay G. made me laugh in the comments.  Taxidermy indeed, sir!)

So, when I go . . .

– If I’m a vegetable, keep me alive for six months or a year if you can afford it.  (I’ve seen miraculous recoveries and doctor mistakes and such, so I ask for a little just-in-case time.)  After that, kindly pull the plug.

– Any of my organs that can be used — take ’em.  Skin, eyes, kidneys — if they’re usable, I want ’em used.  You won’t be able to transfer my sparkling personality or rapier wit or incandescent beauty, but I — hey, stop laughing!  Stop it, I say!

– Burn anything leftover.  I’d like my ashes sprinkled in the bay I cross over every morning — I’ve watched the tidal patterns five days a week for almost a year now and I love them.  I like to picture some incarnation of myself merrily swimming below stalled T cars, thumbing my metaphysical nose and warning the passengers nyah nyah, you’re gonna be late to work!

– I want a wake!  I want people to sit around sipping tasty beverages and telling Lissa-stories.  I want them to reminisce over the zillion ways I screwed up, futzed up, messed up, cheered up, lit up, and made up.  Celebrate my life!

Did that cover it?  I think that covered it.  I love you all, and don’t forget to taunt the cat, he likes it.  Um, really.

UPDATE: Swiped from The Good the Bad and the Ugly!


(I don’t really.  FYI.)


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