Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Chilly with a chance of frostbite

Posted by Lissa on January 16, 2009


I walked to work this morning braced for the cold.  I had my hood-balaclava double-covering my ears, protecting my mouth and nose from the cold and trapping my warm breath to keep my skin thawed.  I wore two layers of sweaters under my coat and tights under my pants.  I swathed my hands in thick leather gloves lined with Thinsulate.  I was ready.

Holy Mother of God it’s cold!  It’s so freaking cold why the HELL did I leave North Carolina or even Texas for that manner it wouldn’t be so cold and I could buy myself a gun and it’s so cooooooooold . . . um, what the hell is that??

I watched in amazement as a young woman pranced by.  Her head was unprotected save by a pair of earmuffs; her jacket was waist-length; and she was wearing FORMAL SHORTS WITH TIGHTS UNDERNEATH AND ANKLE BOOTIES.

DUDE.  Did she lose a bet??  Although it was a really stupid bet if it makes her dress like that in zero-degree weather.  Ummm . . . was that a young woman of, er, ill-repute?  No, that can’t be the case, or surely she’d take better care of the goods in question . . .

Parents, teach your children about the dangers of drunk-dressing.  You might be saving their lives.  Or at least their delicate lady-bits.

UPDATE: Oy, and ouch:

HAMMOND, Ind.—In a scene straight out of the movie “A Christmas Story,” a 10-year-old boy got his tongue stuck to a metal light pole. Police said the unidentified fourth-grader was able to tell them that a friend dared him to lick the pole Wednesday night. Temperatures in Hammond were around 10 degrees at the time.

By the time an ambulance arrived, the boy was able to yank his tongue off the frozen pole.


7 Responses to “Chilly with a chance of frostbite”

  1. Jennifer said

    It’s -12 right now. I don’t even pay attention to what it “feels like” anymore, because it’s something awful like -50.

    I hate Antarctica. Umm, I mean Wisconsin.

    At least my meetings were cancelled so I can stay home. It’s not safe to wait for a bus…

    • Lissa said

      Tell me again why we left the South? 🙂 (Glad you can stay home today! Though I’ve no doubt you would dress more sensibly than the little twit I mentioned . . . )

  2. Jennifer said

    I ask myself that very question every day from November to April. I don’t know the answer. 🙂
    And yes, I do dress more sensibly… even when I need to take Elvis out to potty.
    On the plus side, it’s warmed up to a balmy -4. Yay!

  3. Jeff said

    What the hell are formal shorts? I can think of no way that shorts could be considered formal.

  4. Lissa said

    Jeff — here are a few examples:



    Oh, hell, just click here:

  5. Ted said

    I was sledding when I was 8 or 9, and stuck my tongue on the sled. After more than a couple decades, I still remember it.

    But nobody called an ambulance. Matter of fact, I didn’t let anyone know. Even at 8, I knew that if you were dumb enough, you had to be tough enough.

    I’m guessing that Miss Formal Shorts had sort of the same feeling.

  6. Lissa said

    Ted, I’m not laughing. Really. Promise.

    . . . (lol)

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