Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Give me bake sales, or give me death!

Posted by Lissa on November 12, 2008

Or something.  Minions of stupidity continue to attack our way of life!!!

PIEDMONT, Calif. — Tommy Cornelius and the other members of the Piedmont High School boys water polo team never expected to find themselves running through school in their Speedos to promote a bake sale across the street. But times have been tough since the school banned homemade brownies and cupcakes.

The old-fashioned school bake sale, once as American as apple pie, is fast becoming obsolete in California, a result of strict new state nutrition standards for public schools that regulate the types of food that can be sold to students. The guidelines were passed by lawmakers in 2005 and took effect in July 2007. They require that snacks sold during the school day contain no more than 35 percent sugar by weight and derive no more than 35 percent of their calories from fat and no more than 10 percent of their calories from saturated fat.

Your humble blogstress naturally has a simple way to reverse this travesty:

1) Let kids eat like damned kids — chicken nuggets, mac’n’cheese and the rest.  This includes allowing bake sales to raise money, for cryin’ out loud.

2) Let kids start running around at recess/gym.  That will help offset those calories, and also restore just a smidgen of fun.  I promise they will not fall over and die.

3) Recruit Michael Phelps and his teammates to run around in their Speedos to garner support for #1 and #2.

If y’know what I mean 😉 

“It will be a great day when our schools have all the money they need lust after and the Air Force has to hold a bake sale nutritionally-acceptable vegetable-juice-stand to buy a bomber.”

(h/t the Hotair.com headlines)


2 Responses to “Give me bake sales, or give me death!”

  1. secretlivesofscientists said

    D’ya know that ARHS now prohibits kids from BRINGING peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, because someone shared his sandwich with a buddy who then had an alergic reaction to the peanuts.

    Yes, it makes much more sense to ban things than to issue sensible warnings about food sharing, because telling parents and kids to be cognisent and wary of certain foods exceeds the mental capacity of certain folks, and those stupid people could get hurt out of their own ignorance.

  2. Brad K said

    I don’t like the idea of using sex (inappropriate dress for the hallways) to sell the bake sale. I don’t like the school skirting the ban on the baked goods by allowing the promotion. And, in general I don’t like how school boards include bake sale revenues in their budget planning – it perverts the limits citizens impose on the school board.

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