Dammit, dammit, dammit

The Intrawebz ate my “why socialism is bad” post.  Crap.

I’ll try and re-create it later.  In the meantime — hit up the blogroll please

Technology FAIL

So, I was all excited about my little RSS feed-things in the left sidebar.  WAS.  Past tense.  Because I’m finding that it’s randomly creating links to the new posts as they pop up, especially in blogspot.

Grrrr.  Not that I mind link-whoring, but I’d like it to be intentional!

I’ve taken down some of the links to blogspot and I’ll try to fix this issue later tonight.  If I’m randomly linking to every post you publish, please drop me a comment and let me know!

Housekeeping!

As you may have noticed, I cleaned up the ol’ blog a little bit.  A few folks got added to the “Bloggers I’ve Met (!)” category (and Breda, that category REALLY WANTS TO INCLUDE YOU), I added some reciprocal links to folks nice enough to link me first, and I redid my blogroll categories.  I’m now dividing bloggers into people I’ve met versus people I link, with an RSS feed in the left sidebar on an experimental basis.  I also took out a calendar display of posts that I don’t think anyone had clicked on, ever.  And I changed out the description of my blog at the top.  Oh, and I added a Comments page.

Besides that, everything’s the same!

Things to do over the weekend

1. Get a hair cut

2. Look up Mass. certified firearms safety courses (Mike has already made a start on that — thanks Mike!)

3. Update the blogroll — met a few new people at the bloggershoot that need recognition!  Also, I think there are a few people who have me linked on their blogs.  If you’re linking me, and I’m not linking you, drop a note in the comments so I can fix it!

4. Finish loading the bookcases.  (We purchased three new bookcases last week, which brings our total up to five large bookcases, with four smaller ones scattered throughout the apartment.  That’s barely enough to hold all our books.  When Mike and I moved into the Kitty Den we rented a two-bedroom because a one-bedroom apartment wouldn’t have had enough room for all our books.  Seriously!)

5. Re-arrange some of the bookcases in the living room.  Mike did most of the work unpacking our remaining book boxes and moving the old bookcases into the bedroom (thanks again sweetie!).  However, that means that it’s mostly his books out in the living room.  I think I need a shelf or two of my favorite books out there, so that if our guests ask which books are mine I have something besides the Wheel of Time’s and Tom Clancy’s to grab!

6. Load the pics and maybe the videos to my LookingForLissa Facebook ID.  I think maybe I’ve got a few friend requests too?  I really should update that more than once per ninety days, shouldn’t I.

7. Cut the kitty’s claws.  Also bait him into an interesting video.  (I’m heartbroken; he had his head stuck into his cardboard scratching post and I wasn’t recording when I rapped on the top, causing him to rear up, slam his head into the top and dash into the bedroom.  How did I NOT record that?)

8.  Shop for a cocktail dress.  We’re going to a wedding next month and I’m tired of wearing old prom gowns to weddings.  I haven’t bought a fancy dress since I was about nineteen.  (With one big honking exception.  Obviously.)

9.  Go grocery shopping.  Wednesday night’s dinner was a glorious success — thanks Pampered Chef! — so I’ve another quick-and-easy dinner to add to our rotation.

Anything I miss?

Does this count as a karmic apology?

If so, I suppose I accept, but I still hate you buggers and I always will.

I’m amused to find that my post on hell-bugs has become one of the top results for a Google image search of the term “house centipede.”

Seriously, take a look at my top posts from the last quarter:

2009-05-01 to Today

Title	Views
The hell with Robin Hood, bring me the H	685
Three-picture Thursday: 3/26/09	579
And they wonder why we dislike the UN	534
MOTHER OF GOD, UGLY CAKE ALERT	217
10 good things about a Barack Obama pres	208
A treatise on female toilet etiquette	179
How wierd!	137
President Obama bows to the Saudi King -	120

So of all the things for which this blog could be randomly pinged, it’s not the brilliant (snort) political commentary.  It’s not the breathless exposé on women’s restrooms.  It’s not the delicious recipes or even the shameless cat pr0n.

Nope, it’s the gut-twisting shivering squeamish post on The Most Evil Creature Known To This Humble Blogger.  (I won’t even click on that post if I can help it.  That’s how much I loathe and fear these mini-monsters.)

So like I said — I’ll take the 600-plus hits, and welcome . . . but don’t think I like you any better, hell-bugs.  As far as I’m concerned your proper and ONLY place will be smeared along the bottom of a shoe.  Preferably by Mike, while I hide in the corner and cry.

Do y’all have any funny posts like that?  Random hit generators that make you shake your head?

Happy Blogiversary to me!

One year since the first test-entry, folks.

In the process I’ve made friends, chronicled my vacations, blown off steam, tried to make sense, failed to make sense, highlighted gross fashion errors, documented my wide-eyed entry to the World of the Second Amendment, picked apart politics, and shamelessly cat-blogged.  I even shared my wedding psychosis with y’all!

I’ll tell you a secret.

I actually don’t like to write.

No, really.  I prefer to read.

But I love having an account of what happened in my life and my teeny-tiny little view of the world.  I don’t like to write but I love having written.  Isn’t that funny?  (I have exactly the same view towards the gym, of course.  I don’t like to go but I love having gone.)

The point is — I wouldn’t do it if it weren’t for you, my readers, who stop by.  I post for you, and in doing so, I post for myself.   If I didn’t care that others were reading this, I’d just keep a journal. 

401 posts, 1200 comments, and 44,219 hits of encouragement.  Thank you all so much!!!!!!

UPDATE: BorePatch linked.  Thanks!

And to all the commenters — thank you very much!

Lessons learned the hard way

Naturally, as soon as I had hit “Publish” on the post yesterday I felt guilty.

What if some of my readers have serious math problems? Will they think I’m calling them dumb? Maybe I should have titled it “Mad Math Skillz” instead. But it WAS kinda dumb. Well, really dumb.  But is that offensive? Is “dumb” too harsh a word?

Believe it or not, in person I try to be very courteous and careful about not offending anyone. (I try; I’m not saying I always succeed, mind you.) It’s a refreshing change to be more direct, with less prevarication, on this blog. However, the Interwebz live FOREVER; it worries me sometimes that an off-the-cuff remark could be taken as offensive, or mean-spirited, or cruel.

And then I think — the hell with it. I write this blog for fun. If someone is offended by a “So dumb it HURTS” post title, well, I can’t imagine they would possibly be interested in reading anything else I write. I hope they would shrug it off, decide my blog is OBVIOUSLY not worth reading, and go find another blog that is vastly superior to mine. (There are lots.)

So, I’m not going to fret about it. But on the off chance that I do have a reader or two who thought that was mean-spirited, yet still plans to visit from time-to-time — well, consider this my humble pie.

Lessons Learned the Hard Way: Making Spaghetti

I have mentioned a few times that there are people in this world who are amazingly logical, practical, and commonsensical (my sister is the Master). I have mentioned at least that often that I am not one of those people. This occasionally gets me into trouble.

Such as the fine Saturday afternoon, some nine years ago, when I decided to make spaghetti.

Now, I *had* made spaghetti quite often, thank-you-very-much. I didn’t cook for the family or anything growing up — my mom is a FANTASTIC cook — but I did know my way around a kitchen. I knew to boil the water, add a bit of oil before adding the noodles, and stir every once in a while as it boiled.

What I did not know was that the Pyrex warning — well, they really MEANT it.

You know the Pyrex warning, don’t you? The one that comes with every Pyrex container sold anywhere, ever?

“DO NOT Use On or Under a Flame or Other Direct Heat Source, including on a stovetop, under a broiler, on a grill or in a toaster oven.”

Ummmmmmm yeah.

Well, it’s not like I had lots of pots and pans lying about in my tiny dorm room. And I did NOT want to use the communal cookware in the dorm kitchen — some of those pots had clearly been used by Eve when she first set up house with Adam.  And just as clearly had not been cleaned since.

All I can say is, God (or Buddha or Shiva or The Great Pumpkin) really DOES look out for fools, drunks and small children.  (You could just substitute “college students” for “fools,” “drunks” or both, BTW.)  

I say this because I was across the room, reading at the table, when I learned why Pyrex includes that warning on their glassware.

ssszzzZZZBANG!!!!!!!!!!!

If you case you were wondering . . . cleaning up a two-quart Pyrex bowl (busted into tiny coin-size shards), mixed with a pound of spaghetti and two quarts of boiling water, with a four-foot spray-radius — why, yes, it IS a rather unpleasant experience, thank you for asking.

(This post is dedicated to my old friend who had a spaghetti incident recently. You know who you are.)

Northeast Blogger and AD Dinner 3-22-09

Steak.  Bloggers.  And lots and lots of knives.  What’s not to like??

I’ll try and update this post later, with lots of official links and an updated blogroll for folks I’ve met (Yay!!), but for now, I’m simply dumping off my Neo (thanks Marko!).  A big whopping thank you to Jay (I’ll update with a link once he posts his review of our lil’ shin-dig) — you ROCK, Mr. G.  We had a very excellent time and I TOTALLY look forward to the spring bloggershoot!

Quotes ‘n’ Notes from the evening . . .

If there’s one quote to walk away with tonight, I’m sure it would be Ambulance Driver’s: “Naw, naw, I’m not a redneck, I’m a good ol’ boy.  Y’see, both grow up having relationships with the livestock, but rednecks get emotionally involved.”

- Apparently I need to see Amazon Women on the Moon.  Or is that just for SciFi junkies?  Weer’d Beard? 

- Lissa:  “I don’t know about eating bunnies.  Bunnies are cute.” 
Ted: “Well, so are deer, you know.”
Lissa:  “Yes, but bunnies have never threatened my car. Every deer on the plate is one less deer in my headlights.”

-My new friend Steve was kicked out of Boy Scouts AND Hebrew School.  I’m not sure exactly what he did to deserve that, but he did mention smoking in the girls bathroom.  He swears it was NOT to pick up chicks — “They were the only other people who smoked!!”

- Ted: “I’m definitely just an amateur.”
Lissa: “If you’re just a gun amateur, what does that make me?”
Ted: “What do you think?”
Lissa: “Um, they called me a baby gun chick.”
Ted:  “Well, you’ll get a LOT more hits off “baby gun chick” than you will off “amateur” !”

- According to Ross, there are only three changes to MA gun laws that are really imperative:
1. Change licensing to “shall issue”
2. Scrap the EOPS list (?)
3. Beat the hell out of the AG until she stops pretending that gun safety laws protect children, or are really meant to.

- Ted, on living in England for a year:  “Yeah, you never got used to it.  When the movers came to pack us up, to go back home, they were these big burley cockney guys, and I’m like, “Would you like a spot of tea?” (raises his voice an octave) “Oo, lovely!” “

- It was voiced that we might need to talk to the Hilltop management ’cause the Winchesters on the wall don’t have trigger locks.  Naturally, Jay had all the answers — it seems that antiques do have a loophole. Maybe just so that Minutemen could do re-enactments? Massachusetts:  We only want to regulate your guns if there’s a possibility they might be useful.  Yeah, it doesn’t make sense.  Deal with it.

-Ross:  “Yeah, I missed the day when we did Duck and Cover.
Lissa (squealing and clapping hands): “Oo! Oo!  I saw that in American History class!!”

- Jay G: “One . . . two . . . five!”
Lissa: “Three, sir!”

- (After some explanation about goats, a large boot and bodies of water) – Weer’d Beard: “Remember, Gentlemen: ”BAAA” means “NO!!!”

- Breda – you really must meet Ted some day and ask him about #2 son going to the ER for an injury obtained in a library.  And I must be there to take notes.  It’s just how it has to be.

- Ted: “You need to start a group, because really, Mike has to post so he can write, ‘Hey all, I’ve been looking for Lissa. Has anyone seen her?’ “

- (I don’t even know to what this referred) – Jay G: “Help me, Tamara wan Kenobe, you’re my only hope!!”

- (On the drive home) – Lissa: “I was a little surpried you wanted to come, since you didn’t know any of the people or AD or stuff.”
Mike: “Well, it’s people you’re friends with.”
Lissa: “Cyber friends.” Pause. “Oh dude that sounds TERRIBLE.”

 It was lovely to see my old Bloggershoot friends again, and lovely to meet new ones.  More to come when I’m less sleepy.

Thank you Jay!  Cheers, AD!

Tagged! For books!

Why thanks Jay!  Of course I’ll play!

First, as always, the rules:

Pass it on to five other bloggers, and tell them to open the nearest book to page 56. Write out the fifth sentence on that page, and also the next two to five sentences. The CLOSEST BOOK, NOT YOUR FAVORITE, OR MOST INTELLECTUAL!

Well, see, that’s a little difficult, because I use a Kindle.  I don’t get pages.  Luckily, Amazon.com includes page totals for their books.

Hmmm . . . let’s see.  272 pages translates to 3115 locations, how?  Okay, divide 3115 by 272 . . . no wait, that doesn’t look right . . . how many locations a page?  Oh DAMMIT!  Grrrr.  Okay, x over 3115 equals 56 over 272.  3115 X 56 = 174, 440.  174, 440 divided by 272  . . .641.32.  Right-o, Location 641.

And the fifth sentence at Location 641 is . . .

Lack of press freedom in Korea is one of the big student gripes.  But the students don’t like actual reporters any better than the government does, at least not American reporters.  The radicals — in counterfeit New Balance shoes, Levi’s knockoffs and unlicensed Madonna T-shirts — are much given to denouncing American dominance of Korean culture.  It took a lot of arguing to get past these ding-dongs.  One pair, a dog-faced, grousing fat girl in glasses and a weedy, mouthy, fever-eyed boy, were almost as obnoxious as my girlfriend and I were twenty years ago at the march on the Pentagon.  However, they had some oddly Korean priorities.  “Don’t you step on bushes!” shouted the fat girl as I made my way into the building that they were tearing to shreds.

Okay, so that was more than the next two sentences.  But when on reads PJ O’Rourke, one MUST finish the paragraph.  It’s a law.

Who to tag, who to tag . . .

1)  Breda.  She’s a librarian, so we should have a LARGE selection of random goodness!

2) IAMB.  Obviously better-read than I am, so let’s see what pops out!

3) Shoothouse Barbie.  Gun manual?  Chem textbook?  Her thesis (god forbid)?  Or a book about dogs farting?  Enlighten us!

4) TOTWTYTR.  I bet it’s something wonderful!

5) Bookworm.  ‘Cause, well, it just seems appropriate

(P.S.  Yes, I really do need to scribble out that x-over-y equals a-over-b equation.  I never claimed that math was a high point.  Although I still have the quadratic formula memorized — go figure.)

Temporary hiatus

I received some very passionate criticism — indeed, a tongue-lashing — over the weekend regarding the content of this blog.  (No, not from Mike, don’t worry.)

I’m therefore taking today off lest I write something I will later regret.

Carry on.

UPDATE 11/04/08: That was a very wise decision.  At the time, I was fairly evenly divided between intense urges to apologize/self-justify and to indulge in deranged ranting.  Now, I’m just back to blogging, albeit with a new perspective.  Thanks everyone for the show of support!