Why? BECAUSE I HAVE THE COOLEST TARGETS EVER-EVER-EVER!
SOMEONE MADE THESE TARGETS ESPECIALLY FOR ME, TO MY SPECIFICATIONS. THEY ARE $%#^ING AWESOME.
THEY’RE SO AWESOME THEY’RE FORCING ME TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS. THEY’RE THAT AWESOME.
No, I’m NOT going to post a picture yet! They need a before-and-after shot! The “after” shot must be riddled with bullets! It’s just the way it has to be!
Watch this space, my friends. On Friday, I will reveal all! And it will be A MINDBLOWING PINNACLE OF AWESOME.
On an unrelated note . . .
“Why yes, we realize that Cork is in a state of emergency. No, this does not impart any flexibility whatsoever in canceling or altering your flight from London to Cork.”
Aer Lingus can suck Rajah’s furry hindquarters, is what I’m saying. Git-wankers, they are.
I’m sleepy and bleary and fresh out of inspiration this morning; brilliance is NOT on the menu. (If ever it were.) Instead, I’ll send you along to one of my very favorite bloggers — he’s a helluva storyteller.
So! All my favorite LawDog stories, assembled for your convenience:
A few blocks away from Downtown Crossing I did a double-take. I mean, sure, I’ve been talking about how the chilly, cloudy, hazy weather reminded me of London, but that doesn’t mean I expect a slice of London to show up on the streets of Boston!
No seriously, that’s in Boston!
Of course, the driver was on the right side, meaning he was on the left side, and the back seat door handle wasn’t reachable by the driver, but even so — I wasn’t the only one taking pictures.
How odd! Now, if only I could find a nice bacon sandwich and a pint of Kronenbourg 1664 . . .
Ladies and gentlemen of the Hot Air community, I have discovered an unfair disparity in access to a vital resource based on the economic condition of the consumer. This disparity is not just egregious, but it threatens the very core of our American way of life. People routinely get denied adequate and competent service on the basis of their ability to pay, even though they have a right to it, while the rich eat up all the resources with their ability to access the best and brightest in the field. And in the interest of fairness, the federal government needs to find a solution and impose it on the industry as a whole.
I refer, of course, to legal representation. [snip]
Even beyond that, though, the wealthy and connected have access to a much wider range of legal services than even the middle class can afford. Estate planning, trust funds, tax shelters — all of these can be expertly provided to those with the resources to afford them, while other Americans get second-class status in our legal system. For those who aspire to egalitarianism of result, this arrangement should be such an affront that it demands real action — now.
I propose that the government impose a single-payer system on the legal profession. Instead of charging private fees, all attorneys would have to send their bills to LegalCare, a new agency in the federal government. Because the government can bargain collectively, they can impose rational fees for legal services instead of the exorbitant billing fees attorneys now charge. Three hundred dollars an hour? Thing of the past. Everyone knows that the government can control costs through price-setting; now we can see this process applied to the legal system, where the government has a large interest in seeing cost savings.
For anyone who liked The Godfather, anyway. Horse’s heads are the new flowers!
This would be the enormous stuffed severed horse’s head we got LilBro1 for his birthday. The damn thing even has a spinal cord!
LilBro1 was entertained as hell (You can find it here.)
In other, less happy news, I feel like someone took a blow torch and some steel wool to the back of my throat. DayQuil and saltwater-gargling will be a regular feature on my schedule today . . .
(You can find it 
