Lissa’s Recipe File: Chicken Penne alla Vodka

Hmph.  I wouldn’t call it a Domestication FAIL — I do have a whole category of that, you know — but it didn’t turn out the way I wanted it, either.  Well, that’s what happens the first time you make a new recipe (shrug).

Got this from a friend of mine (my comments in italics)

Prep time: ~15 minutes (yeah f*@%ing right!!!  Maybe YOU can mince two large shallots and a whole head of garlic in fifteen minutes.  Not so much me.  If you’ve got a sous-chef or you’re trying out for Iron Chef America you MIGHT manage in 25.  Maybe.)

Cooking time: ~30-45 minutes (closer to 30 than 45, if it helps)

Ingredients:

• 1.25lbs boneless, skinless chicken – cubed
• X cloves of garlic – very finely chopped
• X shallots – very finely chopped (garlic and shallots to taste)
• Two large cans petite diced tomatoes – drained (really, really drain these suckers — I mean pour them into a strainer and press gently with a spoon.  Just up-turning them and shaking will not do the job.)
• Crushed red pepper flakes – a little or a lot (I used one tbsp or so and couldn’t taste it, so I sprinkled more.  That was a mistake.  Sticking with one tbsp next time!)
• Basil (yeah, so, this basil never shows up in the recipe instructions below.  Add it or don’t add it, knock yourself out.)
• Olive oil (about three times round the pan)
• ¼-1/2 cups of vodka
• 1 1lb box Penne
• 1-2 cups heavy cream (unless you’re cooking for Mike, who really dislikes cream sauces.  Hmph.  I held myself to about a quarter cup.)

Directions

Add olive oil to large skillet – warm on low/medium

Sauté garlic and shallots – brown very lightly – DO NOT BURN (because there’s nothing sadder in a kitchen than to spend fifteen minutes carefully mincing garlic only to burn the whole mess.  No, didn’t happen this time, but has happened in the past!)

Add tomatoes – sauté for a decent while over medium heat

Add vodka – simmer down (yes, simmer down) until at least half in volume (YOU simmer down.  Schmuck.)

Add red pepper flakes to taste

Start penne in boiling water – keep for ten minutes  (box says eleven minutes, but what do I know. . . )

Add chicken to the now medium hot pan, at the same time as the pasta – until cooked (DO NOT COVER!!  I was afraid the chicken wouldn’t cook through, so I covered the pan for a few minutes.  When I lifted the lid some wicked kitchen elf had snuck over and added an entire cup of water to my sauce!  . . . at least, that’s what it looked like.  Boo!)

When penne is finished drain, add to pan

Add cream to pan over very low heat, stir!

Serves 4-6 people

The result?  Not quite a meh, but I wouldn’t call it a yay.  The watery-ness of the sauce was kind of disappointing; I almost forgot to drain the tomatoes at all, and shaking them quickly over the sink just didn’t cut it.  The dish wasn’t TOO spicy, but adding that second helping of red pepper flakes meant that you didn’t really taste the minced garlic and shallots – a great pity.  (They smelled absolutely killer while VERY lightly browning, seriously.)

Oh well!  For a first experiment, it was Okay.  I’ll heat up the leftovers using a saucepan, which should help evaporate some of that extra liquid.  Next time will be better!

Oh, I almost forgot — serve with fava beans and a nice Chianti.  (Evil grin)  No, no, just serve with some green veggies and whatever wine you like.  Enjoy!

Lissa’s Recipe File: Berry Brie Bites

Ingredients:

-         2 boxes (30) mini-phyllo shells
-         1 package Brie
-         10 large strawberries
-         assorted berries (I used half a package of raspberries)
-         apple jelly

Heat the oven to 350.  Remove the mini-shells from their packaging and place on a cookie sheet.  Place a slice of Brie in the bottom of each shell and bake according to directions, until shells are crisp and Brie is bubbly.  (Usually about 12-15 minutes.)

While the shells are baking – or before you start, as is my preference – wash and finely chop the strawberries, then place in small bowl.  I sliced the raspberries in half or kept them whole; try to slice them smaller and they might collapse into mush!  Add them to the bowl, then spoon in two large dollops of apple jelly.  Using your fingers, mix the jelly and the berry bits until all the large jelly blobs are gone and the mixture is spoonable.

Remove the shells from the oven and add as much berry mixture as each one will hold.  Top with a larger piece of strawberry or raspberry for garnish, if you like, and a sprinkle of cinnamon if that is to your taste.  Serve immediately.

And now – a few helpful tips!

1)      Do NOT, repeat NOT, use Brie Light.  The taste isn’t bad but the texture is TOTALLY wrong; instead of being all soft and creamy it’s sort of rubbery. 

2)      Please, for the love of god, use a cookie sheet with a lip.  Otherwise you might run into a situation where you tilt the cookie sheet as you place it in the oven and half the shells make a break for it, skidding off the sheet to die a filthy undignified death in the depths of your oven while you shriek “sh*t sh*t SH*T DAMMIT NO!!!”

Um, hypothetically speaking.

Enjoy!

(Note: Recipe adapted from this book.)

Lissa’s Recipe File: Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic

This is the very simplest of Crock Pot recipes, but o-so-tasty:

Ingredients:

- 1 whole chicken, giblets removed, washed
- 2 or 3 large onions (vary to taste)
- 40 peeled cloves of garlic (vary to taste)
- 1 can chicken broth (or water)
- Optional: 2 small-ish onions for stuffing, likewise carrots or celery etc., salt, pepper

Slice the onions thickly (about one-inch slices) and lay them across the bottom of the Crock Pot.  Lay the chicken on top of the onions; if you have stuffings for your chicken, shove them in now.  (I like to stuff mine with a few whole onions.)  Place the garlic cloves under, over, and inside the chicken.  Sprinkle with salt/pepper etc. if you like.

I generally do the first part the night before and store it in the fridge.  Come morning, pour the broth over the top.  (You probably don’t need more than half a cup, but I use one can — I like having lots of chicken juice available for dipping and drinking and general yumminess.)  Place in the Crock Pot and cook on Low for 8-12 hours, depending on your size.  (I usually just leave it on till we come home; it’s practically impossible to overcook it.)

Voila!  You’ve got yourself a juicy, moist, tender chicken that practically falls off the bone.  Actually, to be perfectly accurate, the chickeny goodness is so tender the bones fall APART — don’t expect beautifully-carved slices.  I use tongs to grab large pieces and later pick through the remains with my fingers to separate meat from bone.

You can serve with noodles, or rice, or potatoes, but you should definitely have some fresh bread ready; the savory soft delicious cloves of garlic make a perfect spread.

And now, to come to the real reason I posted this recipe . . . Rajah says, “It’s finger-lickin’ good!!”

done

Lissa’s recipe file: Chicken fried rice

Well, technically I should say Mom’s recipe file, since it came from her.  Or maybe Mike’s, since he made it while I was still feeling wobbly.  But anyway, it worked pretty well, so this way if we lose it we can find it again

Ingredients and cooking times and spices are all approximate/eyeballed — feel free to experiment and find what works best for your palate! 

Ingredients:

6 cups day-old rice
3 eggs, beaten
1 small bunch green onions (chop the white ends for cooking; chop the green part to add at the end)
3 tablespoons soy sauce
1 tablespoon oyster sauce
3 tablespoons sesame oil (or you can half-and-half it with regular cooking oil, for health or expense reasons)
mix-ins as you choose (cooked chicken, cooked pork, canned or frozen peas, etc.;  all meat should be cooked and diced)

Heat the wok over medium to medium-high heat and drop in the beaten eggs.  Season as you wish with pepper and garlic (salt also, but soy sauce plus oyster sauce equals pretty salty, so careful!).  It doesn’t have to be cooked totally, but at least 3/4 of the way to omelette-dom.  Remove from wok; during next cooking period chop into small bits.  Turn wok to medium-high and pour in oil(s).  Once heated, add rice and (white parts of) green onion; fry for several minutes, stirring frequently, until rice is very hot.  Add chicken/pork/peas etc; once mix-ins are heated through, add egg back in.  If you’re out of oil at this point you can pour in a bit more sesame.  Add the soy sauce and cook for another two minutes; turn off heat.  Add oyster sauce and a bit more sesame oil, stir well.  Add garnish if you like (green bits of green onions, cilantro, etc.).  Serve immediately.

Enjoy!

P.S.  I firmly believe all good rice is made in a rice pot.

P.P.S.  Mom customarily refrigerates her rice overnight before making fried rice; my grandma laughed and called her a “mun-tzai” (dummy).  “You think we had fridge in China?  Hanh!  Stupid girl!”

Today’s tip

Are you a fan of meatloaf?  Next time you cook it, try making muffins.

Instead of shaping all that delicious ground meat, spices, eggs, breadcrumbs, cheese and ketchup/tomato sauce into one loaf, cook it in a muffin tin.  Rather than the 30-45 minutes it would take to cook one large loaf, cooking 12 muffins reduces the baketime to under 20 minutes — just long enough for you to shuck and boil that fresh corn-on-the-cob. 

For my own personal taste, I also add WAY more garlic than any recipe ever advises.  There are very few meat dishes that can’t use a little extra garlic.  Also, I don’t use the “meatloaf mix” sold by Stop ‘n’ Shop; I’d rather hand-mix ground beef and pork, while skipping the ground veal.  (I’m told baby cows are delicious, but they’re just too gosh-darn cute.  I’d happily eat bunnies before I’d eat veal.  I don’t trust bunnies.)

Meatloaf sandwiches for dinner tomorrow night!

(Muffins idea from my very favorite beginner’s cookbook, The Everything Quick and Easy 30-minute, 5-ingredient Cookbook.  There are lots of lower-fat substitutes you can use to make the recipes healthier, or you can just take the general idea and fancy-it-up as you please.  Rachel Ray is great for some stuff, and of course I have a Joy of Cooking, but anything that takes more than fifteen ingredients tends to make my eyes glaze over, my fingers twitch, my cheeks tic, and general moronic incompetence to ensue.)