lookingforlissa

Escape your life for a little while — come play in mine.

Posts Tagged ‘Girl stuff’

Self-portrait plus endorsement

Posted by Lissa on July 10, 2009

Alone with the kitty and the Eee ... hmm,what kind of trouble can I get into?

Alone with the kitty and the Eee ... hmm,what kind of trouble can I get into?

That necklace?  It’s an Algerian love knot modeled on the one from Casino Royale and it’s absolutely fabulous.  You can find it here.  Or, for you gunnies, try here.

Happy Friday!

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Money ain’t everything

Posted by Lissa on January 28, 2009

UPDATE: Apparently the group was somewhat satire/parody, though the Times didn’t realize it.  Whew!

*language warning on this post, because there’s just no other way to say it*

On one hand, I’m glad that these women are telling their stories and finding support networks.  I once dated an investment-banker type myself; I know and agree that that type of alpha-male super-achiever (achievement measured by his trophy wife and his bank account, naturally) is a particular relationship challenge. 

However, you get what you sign up for.  And I find it hard to whip up a great deal of empathy for the “poor women” in a story like this:

Step 1: Slip into a dress and heels. Step 2: Sip a cocktail and wait your turn to talk. Step 3: Pour your heart out. Repeat as needed.

About 30 women, generally in their mid- to late-20s, regularly post to the Web site or attend meetings.

“We do make light of everything on the blog and it’s very tongue in cheek,” said Laney Crowell, 27, who parted ways with a corporate real estate investor last month after a tumultuous relationship. “But it all stems out of really serious and heartfelt situations.” [snip]

Raoul Felder, the Manhattan divorce lawyer, said that cases involving financiers always stack up as the economy starts to slip, because layoffs and shrinking bonuses place stress on relationships — and, he said, because “there aren’t funds or time for mistresses any more.”

(One such mistress wrote on the blog that when she pouted about not having been taken on a trip lately, her married man explained that with money so tight, his wife had taken to checking up on his accounts.)

Mmm, yeah, sorry lady, you don’t get any sympathy from me.

I truly believe that money problems are a primary marriage-killer.  (I’d guess it’s a dead heat between that and infidelity.)  A polite word of advice to these wives:  Don’t assume the money will last, any more than your husband should assume your beauty will remain the same.  Love the person, not the credit card, and you’ll be much better off.  (This is not exactly rocket science.)

For Christine Cameron, the recession became real when the financial analyst she had been dating for about a year would get drunk and disappear while they were out together, then accuse her the next day of being the one who had absconded.

Ummmm, no, the recession is not the problem.  The problem is that your boyfriend doesn’t have sufficient coping mechanisms and is using alcohol instead.  Send him to therapy/AA and stop blaming the economy for bringing the problem to light.

Because I believe that some of these women are genuinely nice people caught in a stressful situation, I will offer the following blunt, Rachel Lucas-inspired advice:

Don’t date assholes.

Women, don’t date men who are far more concerned with their job and status symbols than they are with your life and feelings.  Don’t ever date ANYONE who assumes he has the right to “get a little on the side.”  Don’t date someone who blames you when things go wrong.

Men, don’t date women who love you not for your mind and soul but for your cash.  Don’t date women whose first concern is how much money you make.  Don’t date ANYONE whose primary concern with a failing economy and how it might affect your job/life is that “your monthly Bergdorf’s allowance has been halved and bottle service has all but disappeared from your life.”  (What *is* bottle service, anyway?)

Wasn’t that easy?  Don’t date assholes, and you’ll have a far smaller chance of marrying an asshole, and having that asshole live up to his/her asshole-ish reputation when an economic crisis hits.

You’re welcome.

(h/t The Corner)

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The anti-Mallick

Posted by Lissa on September 10, 2008

Now THIS is what I admire.

We need a new generation of leadership with fresh ideas and an expansive, cosmopolitan vision — which is why I support Barack Obama and have contributed to his campaign. My baby-boom generation — typified by the narcissistic Clintons — peaked in the 1960s and is seriously past it. But McCain, born before Pearl Harbor, is even older than we are! Why would anyone believe that he holds the key to the future?

So, an Obama fan.  A woman.  And yet she gives credit where credit is due, and treats Sarah Palin like a PERSON.

It is certainly premature to predict how the Palin saga will go. I may not agree a jot with her about basic principles, but I have immensely enjoyed Palin’s boffo performances at her debut and at the Republican convention, where she astonishingly dealt with multiple technical malfunctions without missing a beat. A feminism that cannot admire the bravura under high pressure of the first woman governor of a frontier state isn’t worth a warm bucket of spit.

You don’t have to love Sarah Palin.  You don’t have to like her, or agree with her.  You may disagree, in fact, with EVERY political view that she holds and every action she’s ever taken as Governor or Mayor.  But you can’t deny she’s had a huge effect since her intro as the Republican Veep candidate without looking like a moron.

Heather Mallick, go read Camille Paglia.  You might learn a thing or two.

UPDATE: Oops! h/t Hot Air

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With friends/advocates like these . . .

Posted by Lissa on September 9, 2008

What a lovely, charming woman this author makes herself out to be:

It’s possible that Republican men, sexual inadequates that they are, really believe that women will vote for a woman just because she’s a woman. [snip]

But do they not know that women have been trained to resent other women and that they only learn to suppress this by constantly berating themselves and reading columns like this one? I’m a feminist who understands that women can nurse terrible and delicate woman hatred.

It sounds like satire, but it’s not.  Since I haven’t been reading her columns, I suppose I’m still trained to resent other women.  I sure don’t like Heather Mallick so far. 

Here’s the funny thing though: in the same article, she can write,

White trash — not trailer trash, that’s something different — is rural, loud, proudly unlettered (like Bush himself), suspicious of the urban, frankly disbelieving of the foreign, and a fan of the American cliché of authenticity. The semiotics are pure Palin: a sturdy body, clothes that are clinging yet boxy and a voice that could peel the plastic seal off your new microwave.

as well as (trying to figure out why the RNC cheered Palin),

Is it racism? I’m told that it is, although I find racism so appalling that I have difficulty identifying it.

Does that seem like cognitive dissonance to anyone else?  I speak (well, write) of the fact that she can spout vicious disgust at a group of people whose identification includes their skin color, and then turn around and pronounce herself horrified at racism.  (I also find it curious that she finds racism “so appalling” that she has “difficulty identifying it.”  Most folks I know who find racism appalling are pretty quick — maybe overly quick sometimes — to identify it.)

She also included this gem in her opening paragraph:

She added nothing to the ticket that the Republicans didn’t already have sewn up, the white trash vote, the demographic that sullies America’s name inside and outside its borders yet has such a curious appeal for the right.

Can anyone explain to me how her seeming hatred of “white trash” differs from racism? 

Ms. Mallick, you don’t speak for all women.  (I don’t either, of course, but this IS my blog, so I get to speak for ME at least.)  I don’t need your column to teach me how NOT to hate women.  I don’t need you to educate me about or protect me from those ooo-scary bastardizations of the human race, “white trash” (a.k.a rednecks).  Women like you give the rest of us a bad name.  Do us all a favor and treat Palin like you would treat a man, or like you would treat a woman with whose positions you agreed; in other words, like a human being. 

That goes for “white trash” and Republicans, too.

(P.S.  If anyone proves to me the article was meant as satire, I will happily eat crow all over this blog.  I’d much rather that be the case than the fact that this column was written seriously, which it appears to be.)

(h/t Hot Air)

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