Polar bears and tanlines
Posted by Lissa on July 15, 2010
Did you know that polar bears like watermelons?
Mike, LilBro1, LilBro2 and I spent an afternoon at the Toronto Zoo. Despite the fact that those meanies wouldn’t let me pet the ocelot, cuddle the red panda OR sneak the tree kangaroo into my purse, we had a fabulous time. The polar bear tank was one of the major highlights — we walked by just as the keepers threw in their afternoon snacks. One by one, the polar bears dove into the water and climbed out holding a watermelon in their jaws.
(We all know polar bears are big, but to see them moving about while nonchalantly holding an entire watermelon in their mouths — well, it’s a sight!)
The bears just RIPPED into those melons. It was melon CARNAGE, baby. It was also a nice demonstration of strength — they’d shove their noses into the hole and the rind would just flake away. The red juice added a nice touch of carnivorous verisimilitude — without making any small children cry.
It was so cool, in fact, that I easily ignored the zookeeper’s lecture on teh global warming and zomg zeh polar bears are starving to death and you people are ruining Mother Gaia! I rather expect that type of lecture in this setting, though I wish I could have sent them over to my friend Borepatch’s site. (My mini-take on global warming? I think it’s a crock. The earth has been much warmer and much cooler than it presently is. There’s a big honkin’ fireball up there in the sky that is much more likely to have caused any temperature change — which is still unproved — than Man. To assume that we are killing the earth smacks of ridiculous arrogance. It was here LONG before we were. It’ll be here long after we’re gone. Oh, and it appears that polar bear populations are increasing, so I’m not losing sleep at night over the pretty aminals. Just sayin’.)
Anyway. We had a lovely, lovely time, and a nice day, and a lot of walking, and a bit of sun. And therein lies the problem.
May I offer an unsolicited piece of advice, dear readers? Yes? Why thanks! To wit:
When one plans to walk around for hours during a sunny afternoon, one should not pair a v-neck shirt with a lack of sunscreen:
Yeah. Awesome, huh?!? I hope to hell it fades. Otherwise I’m going to be playing with fake tanners and tanning booths. ‘Cause that up there? Super-sexy!
I’ve also got a nice sandal strap tanline across my ankle, but I find that less troubling:
Pride goeth before sunblock, y’all!